i've been places, and i've done things. some i'm proud of, some i wish could be undone. but all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His will (Romans 8:28) and i know He's takin' me places.
anyway, life today has been school-study-sleep. ho-hum. but ah, such is life. i was trying to describe my life in one word. and i came up with: "sigh." exciting ah?
anywhos, school today was bleah. literally. i was super dead until recess and then i got hyper a little.
i got annoyed during assembly cos we were sitting really squished up and it was hot and there were teachers screaming at us over the mike, and prin was in front of me and he was shaking. no, not just his leg, but his entire body. so freaking annoying can?!!? you all know how i am about leg-shakers and small spaces and crowds and screaming people. i was so close to walking over and slapping him to stop him from shaking. apotheosis of an annoying period. really.
the class got pissed at one of our teachers cos he didn't turn up for class and didn't even send someone to tell us of the alternative plans. i mean, sir, we know you've got other important duties, but you've got a graduating class on your hands. at the least send a relief or get us a classroom to self-study in. roar. and this ain't the first time. grr.
and then i got to church! :) i love love love love love it la! i was studying first by myself until queksie came then we studied and then seanie came and we studied more and then benji came and we went to beer to eat. got back to church and studied/worshipped and i'm feeling super now :) i just realized the effects of delayed gratification. i pressed on in writing out my tiny notes and TADAH! satisfaction gauranteed. tired as hell la, but satisfied, none to say the least.
OH! maddy bought us mum mums! :) i got cookies, ness got cheesecake and seanie got this mudslide thing which was a massive belgium chocolate cookie! deeeelish! thank mads! i love you!!
seanie was in quite a mood. so i dragged him off to have our private talk which got interrupted by the bald, nation-serving person (a.k.a chuan) and then we all had laughing fits and violent tendencies. then we went back to study and then i left at about 9.40..
SEAN sweetheart, i can't express all i have to say in words. but really, just hang in there. 4 months, and we're free. i promise you we'll have so much fun, but first we gotta work for that fun. it ain't gonna be an enjoyable holiday if we knew that we screwed up the Os. i want you to enjoy your holidays, knowing that you'll do well. it's tedious, i know. but we're in the same boat, we'll paddle this together ok? jia you, hang in there, i'm with you! we all are.
more studying awaits me! good night happy people! i shall see you all tomorrow with my marble-hiding eyebags. (i'm gonna be like, the weirdest looking person at the wedding on friday la! with eyebags like mine. so hideous. shit. i'm fugly.) [disclaimer: fugly=freaking + ugly]
(adrenalin pumping. i close my eyes.) "gracie girl, shutting your eyes won't keep the boogeyman at bay." i know. but i don't know what else to do "open them hazel browns.." i can't! "just do it" Lord, no. "I AM here." You'll hold my hand Lord? "I will. I will never leave you nor forsake you. have you forgotten my Word?" no Lord. squeeze my hand, let me know You're here still "You're sitting in the palm of my hand, my love." okay Lord, here goes.. i'm scared. "don't be. I'm here for you. didn't I say that my Word will not return void?" Yes Lord. (i open my eyes) woah. "what do you see, my love?" everything i ever wanted. and all i want is You.
Jesus, You've stolen my heart. i've fallen deeply in love, with You.