yay yay!! I SHOPPED TODAY :)

haha shopping always perks me up, it really does. i was woken up at 10am for the BFF and as always i had to give her a wake up call. so right, i call her. and this is our "conversation".

me: QUEKSIE!! WAKE UP!
queks: mmmmm
me: eh no, really wake up already
queks: mmm ya
me: aunty you sit up now, stand up, go bathe and change and move!
queks: mmmmm
me: vaness.........
queks: mmm ah got interview. ah don't want la. so far.
me: so we're not going
queks: mmmm....
me: ok go sleep bye.
(i think there were other stuff in between but i can't say for sure cos she was mumbling the whole time)


and that explains why we didn't go for the interview, and so i'm still pretty much jobless, so, desperate times call for desperate measures... STARBUCKS PLEASE!!! HIRE ME!!! *puppy eyes*

my puppy eyes don't work no more.

anyway today has been draining. physically, mentally, and weirdly emotionally. i'm sorry baby, i can't explain my insecurity. just ignore that i ever asked, ignore that i had that berserk three-four hours ok? i was just being stupid, as always. i know you do as do i :)

yeah yeah talk talk talk grace. i have to mention this... TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC HAS CALLED ME UP FOR AN INTERVVVVVIIIIIEEEEEWWWW!!!! :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) wooooweeee! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) happy happy joy joy i jump fall down break my leg still stand up jump jump jump for joy!!! elation i tell you. EXCEPT. i don't know what to put in my portfolio.

i guess this means i'm bringing my ABOUT TO BE OBSOLETE lappie to church on sunday and get some professional help at "portfoliation". Isaac, you help is needed, yes yes AGAIN. hahaha sorry love,i keep doing this to you. war eye knee, war eye knee... thank you thank you your heart very big ah? :)

i sound so chinese. tsk.

anyway, the interview's on the 11th of February at 9.30am. mega early, i tell you. i have no idea how am i going to get up on time. considering that i take an hour to get there, and then i'll take about 15 minutes to find the place cos i have zero sense of direction, and then i take an hour and a half to bathe and get ready.... i have to get up at.. 7am. WHAT?!!


but okay yeah i'm gone LIAO :) tired, tired, tired. and and 27 dresses tmr i think. oooh!! AIKEY!! i'll be praying for you mega hard. i promise!!! and and you still can go to starbucks you know?!?! :::))))) apply apply for the one at VIVO!! SO FUN!! :) i love you darlaiks!

Grace ♥ 11:45 m.d.

Grace ♥ 2:03 p.d.

i hate secrets.
i wish i didn't have to keep them.

i hate failure.
i wish i didn't keep repeating what i've failed.

i hate this.
i wish my heart wasn't so soft.

i hate This.
i wish that you were here with me.

no but honestly, i hate having to keep secrets. but yet again, i cannot open my mouth because for some reason, word spread fast where i come from.

i just wish that i don't have to do this alone. but you're a year away so i can't say it. i wish you could deal with this together with me. i wish that you could be here to protect me like you used to. pfffffft. *sucks in breath and tears and Mr Tumms*

i don't like hiding things. SEE?! my defense mechanisms are up again, and here i am hiding hiding like a sneaky rat in a shittake mushroom hole. when i don't need to, don't have to, i wish i didn't know.

somethings are better left unsaid, you know?! so why did you tell me? why?! dammit. idiot. ignorance is bliss sometimes. times like NOW. cos i'm alone. in a way. and i find it hard to say no. bluidy.



on a different end of the spectrum of my day, my interview with starbucks went great :) the manager, Haffiz, was the nicest person ever and that bald barista was so nice and sweet, i say. the interview went on for almost an hour. hahaha we just talked and talked and talked. YUP! i do think i'm getting that job. even if it's crap pay and i have to travel super far, the people are awesome! he'll call me on tuesday so i hope i get hired.

if i do get hired, i'll need black shoes, black/khaki berms/jeans, and more black/white polo tees. SO TROUBLESOME HUH!? but neh mind. ish okay. lol. rofl. lmao. wth. asl.

hahahahha stupid internet chatroom talks.

okay i'm gone. no mood.


another interview with queks tomorrow. some contact lens solution thing. which i find damn funny cos queksie's eyes are so small i doubt she can even wear contacts. HAHAHAH. and the interview is at ubi, which is mega far. why allmy interviews so ulu one huh?! okay okay i go.bye.

Grace ♥ 12:31 p.d.

hello lovebirds :)

AMALINAAAAAA!!!! OMG I'M SO SORRY!!! :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( i've totally missed you, aunty, and i really can't believe i let your name slip outta my mind :( i'm sorry babesy, i really am! i do miss you like truckloads and we're so so far apart now, and it's all my fault, i'm sorry :( i miss you, you know? and i miss having you around at recess and other lame school activities that were made fun, just because you're there. i'm so sorry i didn't mean to miss you out, really.. you were one of the main ingredients to me having fun in BVSS :) go out. soon. or i go down to NP to eat lunch with you. hee hee love :D



Mr. Deli, tha gaol agam ort.
(figure that out. hee)



anyway, i felt compelled to speak on love. because, love, as shenna and realized that day, means everything in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and love = God because He did say in His word, that God is love. so when we say "i love you" to someone, you're actually saying "i God you".

how that makes sense, i have no idea. but i just know that there's so much more to those four letters than we give credit for.

when we say we love someone, we are saying that:
"yes, i will be patient and kind, i will not be envious, i will not be boastful. i will neither be proud nor rude, and i will not be self-seeking. i will not lose my temper at you easily, and i will not enjoy evil, scrupulous things, but celebrate and be joyous in things good, true and pure. i will always protect you, i will always trust you, i will always be hopeful in everything, and i will never give up. all this, for you, because i love you."

tough call or what?!

so suddenly, those three little words transform into a whole vow. i've got a lot of work cut out for me. i want to be able to truly say this to Someone in the future.

anyway, on a different note, someone once asked me "why can't you be explicit? why must you use your subtleties?" and then i realized i had no answer to that question. i guess i've always been rather explicit, but DUH there are times where i've hidden myself behind the innuendos of words and phrases, the dubious meanings behind my short stories or poems, the hidden words in my blog posts, the acronyms, abbreviations.... i have no idea why i do it, but i just know that i do.

yet again, is my ambiguity and lack of explicitness necessarily a bad thing? i'm not too sure.. i've been thinking alot lately. i realize that i, for someone who seems so composed and social butterfly-ish and uh confident, have got alot of defense mechanisms.

i hide behind my smiles and stupid laughter, i hide behind my shallow sense of humour, i hide behind my looks, i hide behind my authority. i also run away from reality alot. i run away when i'm running, i run away when i'm tanning, i run away when i'm acting, i run away when i'm reading chick lit, i run away when i sleep, i run away when i'm playing the piano.

haha seems like i'm not so cool after all eh? makes me wonder who i really am under all these running and hiding. i'm still loud, flamboyant, noisy, annoying, this yapping overgrown chihuahua, prancing and giggling like a giggling horse, but beneath this exterior of what seems to be joy, am i really?

i thank God that i can say, yes. i am. so heck, life ain't perfect. but i must admit, i've got life alot easier than most people have. and if i were in anyone else's shoes, i can foresee myself reading alot more chick lit and writing a whole lot more ambiguous stories. but as Alvin said, God does not push one beyond one's limits.

which then makes me wonder if i'm really such a weakling. if i really can't stand up for myself, to fight what others are fighting, or to fight on their behalf. but i mean, i'm a cell leader, aren't i? i'm supposed to be strong, emotionally, spiritually, mentally. but sometimes i find myself at a loss. but then again, i guess that's when i leave it to God huh? like He says, in my weakness He is made powerful.

and this leads me to think, is weakness such a bad thing after all then?

i don't know. the more i type, the more i confuse myself.

what i do know, is that my life is secured in Him, and that He's about the only back up i have in life. and i know that i'm still noisy, prancing and oh-so horsey, and i think i'll forever be this way. but still, appearing happy does not deny me the right to cry, and being a leader does not deny me the right to be weak, to depend on God, cos that's what He wants me to do.

okay yes, confusion reigns in my brain right now. hahah i'm not meant to think this much at one shot. i shall go DO THE LAUNDRY :)))) oh yes, please just call me Ms Domestic Goddess. and when i'm done with THE LAUNDRY, i am going to curl up in bed with Sandra Brown and then i'll fall asleep.

goodbye loves, goodbye :)

Grace ♥ 12:35 p.d.

hahaha okay i know i was supposed to go but i saw this on youtube and its so funny! (to me la, i have relatively low standards of humour.) okay me go really now. bye good see you!

Grace ♥ 7:04 m.d.

i'm walking on the edge of braindeadness now. my father, brilliant as always, woke me up at 10am after merely 4 hours of sleep. and dragged me to eat (which leaves me nauseous) then dragged me to TTSH for a hospital visitation, then to vivo to settle some stuff and to scout for my new lappie (!!!) and for him to do techno geek things while i SHOP. ALONE. IN VIVO CITY. and after that, he had to drag me to go drink tea. oh Lord, have mercy.

hahahah okay lah okay. i had fun. but i just spent another 50 yusof ishaks and so.. i've just spent 100 yusof ishaks in um, two days. and then i'm going to spend more yusof ishaks on thursday. so then, i'd have no more yusof ishaks. and then for the second time in a month, i'm gonna be..... *drum rolls* BROKE! TADAH!!!! Grace the Queen of Brokedom shall return. pfft.

tomorrow's gonna be a go-to-bvss-to-collect-stuff then go-for-an-interview day. hahah ah well, at the very least i have good company. i'd be missing piano (YESSAH!) and cell :( though but thats okay. starbucks had better hire me so that i have at least something to do, or else i'll bite them for making me travel all the way down to tanjong-friggin-pagar to be interviewed.

oh if i do get hired, you guys must come down to vivo to meet me EVERYDAY. then aiks you can have as much Carl's Jr. as you want huh? :) *puppy eyes which plead you all to come down and entertain me*

on one hand, i anticipate getting a new job so i have something to do, money to earn, and new people to meet. yet on the other hand, i'll miss the days where i can stay IN bed the WHOOOOLLLEEE day doing abso-happy-lutely nothing, or where i can sprawl on the cold cold marble floor with a good book in hand with a big blue cushion for support. and i'll miss the ability to be the very own master of my time.

okay i've more to say but the lappie has effectively ruined my mood by being horrendously anal about letting me type. fine then, lapster. be that way. watch out when i throw you out to welcome the likes of my new lappie (!!!!) which will be red and will come to me soon, hopefully, prayerfully, whiningfully, eye blinkingfully, puss-in-boots imitationfully.

i'm off. fare thee well fellow friends. i pray that indeed, all is well with your souls.

and i thank God cos i think i'm LOSING WEIGHT!! :) ho ho. -am pleased.-

life is looking slightly merrier. although i think that has everything to do with the prospects that i'm POTENTIALLY getting a new hot red laptop. and also that i may be getting a job. and also that i may get into TP CMM with aikey as my classmate. and also that Mr. X is not an avoidee any longer. and also that I AM LOSING WEIGHT!! (oh yes i am, goodbye Mr. Tumms! -GLEE!-) and also maybe because i am about to go back to sleep so i can continue running from reality. and also maybe because i can whine to mummy and wringe more moolah outta her with the excuse that i need to do CNY shopping and that i'll pay her back with my angbao. or maybe because....... yeah :) ok.

life is merrier LIAO. i like. zaijian.

Grace ♥ 6:39 m.d.

hello hello went out with mummy and we had sakae sushi and then we went shopping but all the shops were closed so i ended up spending $51 on 3 books. hahah yay yay! i will go read now. i bought some chick lit too. gosh i need that escape from reality. hahah. self denial? yes indeed.

okay okay i'm gone! i don't know what exactly i am feeling now. a lil lost, a lil tired, a lil hyper, a lil happy, a lil sad. aiya. like some rojak. ok me go now, yes no? yes.

oh and everyone should watch The Mist cos the plot is damn good i say! maybe the camera angles weren't all that power, but the show is well storylined. hahah :) ok ok i really go LIAO. bye.

Grace ♥ 10:17 m.d.

like that LOR.

i have a long list of things to do, long list of people to meet up with, YET i have spent my entire day in bed. like, really IN bed. the handphone's within stretchless reach so i didn't have to get up to pick up calls/reply messages, the laptop's just beside me so i can conveniently use it, like now. and i'm just being a total butt. i'm a buttless butt, if there's such a thing.

let's see, to do list:

1) pick up GPA from school
2) pack up my room which freakishly resembles the state of Mango in a sale
3) go SHOP : vaness quek! you, me, BFF outing, thursday! :) set ah? set!
4) CUT MY UGLY HAIR. ugh.
5) go settle that student plan thing with daddy
6) get a job (good grief Grace, it's almost February already!! at this point, i'm desperate. anything will do, forget FlyE or relief teaching, just give me SOMETHING to do. hell, even if its GV or Starbucks with 4 bucks/hour.)
7) go to sentosa (hahah yes again, again.)
8) GO TAN (for goodness sake Grace, you have a pool. use it.)
9) go get my brows done again.
10) do something about my nails
11) get a Brazilian/playboy done (hahahahahha)
12) get tight with God again. (THIS IS IMPERATIVE I TELL YOU)
13) get rid of Mr Tumms of UglyLand
14) bake and apple crumble for ben
15) help daddy do his report cos my english ROX more than his.
16) fast and pray for my beloved friends and myself


people to meet up with:
JUST ABOUT THE WHOLE DARNED WORLD

1) cell YM--bible study/chill out
2) TEH KAIKAI--feifei/whatever. missyouladude
3) Juzan--it's been a whole year, huns.
4) HANIES AHMADDDDDDD--so we can celebrate/have girlfriend moments!
5) Za--cos i think you hate me and.. i miss you. and i'm sorry :(
6) HAIQAL!--cos i said i would and haven't done so yet. hahahah
7) PO XINYI!!--cos you're so dear to me and precious beyond describable :)
8) VANESS QUEK LI YI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!--BFF mah.
9) Mr. X--but i can't, so meh.
10) SHENNA HO CHENDOL!! -- imissyou leh aunty!
11) ISAAC ONG TENG CHEONG! --because because i still owe you from before Os and because i miss you and because you are so busy you don't have time for me anymore :( hahaha no la. just, because.
12) AMANDA LEUNG!!--cos omg. i slept through our swimming date! *gasps* sorry sweetheart! i owe you mega hugely i tell you
13) my REAL family--cos we've been so far apart, its as if we don't exist
14) STUDY FAM!--we swore to meet up once a month last year. and now?! :( reunion dinner, please?
15) Ze--before your school starts proper :)
16) GOD!!!!!!!!! --because i miss You so, my Lord.


EH THIS YEAR WHEN I SAY I WANT TO CELEBRATE ZHONG QIU JIE I REALLY WANT TO CELEBRATE ZHONG QIU JIE OKAYY!??!?! idiots. else i'd find my own people to carry lanterns with. HAHAHAHAH. last year, the only way we "celebrated" it, was sean aiks and i staring at the gorgeous gorgeous moon at tampines MRT. at least we got to admire and enjoy the moon, but please lah i really want to celebrate ZQJ okay okay? :))))))))))))))))))))))) *gives puppy dawg eyes*

okay yes, thank you! i know you'd all consent ;) i have the best friends in the world!!!

oh you know what? valentine's day is coming up. but aiya, i care so much for what la huh?! we should have mega singles outing on that day and we just do stupid highly unromantic things. hahahah

i am going to um... go back to.. sleep? but no, only after i bathe. bathing is important.

Grace ♥ 4:45 m.d.

one thing to describe today is:


:)


finally, all the bull shit is OVER! not like everything is back to the way it was, but at least now i don't have to avoid him like a fever. so yes, in conclusion, The Talk, went good! *phew*

left me really tired though, that talk. and for no reason, since she was the one talking and all i felt was great relief and joy. hahaha.... the two of us ended up laughing like crazy, the whole thing seems pretty silly, now that it's over. but i will NEVER, never forget the whole ordeal, and it has made me value everything even more. so now there's a greater price tag on this, and alot of things are clearer. and i am happy now :) well, quite.


i met up with Ze today.. that silly boy canceled his shift so that we could hang out longer. so yeah we ate at subway where he was mega unglam, haha, then we went to that garden thing on top of the esplanade, then watched The Mist, then sat outside esplanade to listen to good music, then hid under the bridge at the Singapore river to escape the rain, and then home it was.

it was a great "date" despite me feeling fat and ugly and slightly bewildered. and not to mention, anxious.

but yeah... as much as Ze was fun and although conversation flowed like the free flow drinks at Carl's Jr. , i realized that i'd rather do all these with someone else. and yeah okay, i'm blogging this so i can be accountable to all of you, that it's not a date but an outing. i don't feel in the least bit guilty cos i know full well where my heart lies, and full well where i stand. and i made it clear to Ze anyways, so it was the funnest platonic outing i've had in ages.

Ze, you're really super ultra mega sweet and if it weren't for Mr. X, i'd have fallen flat on my face for you, rolling head over heels over head over heels. i'm so sorry, but thank you for understanding, that as special as you are, there's someone special-er who's waiting and we've gone through hell already. so there's no way i'd ditch him for anyone at any point of time unless God tells me to. but either ways, thank you for today, and thank you for being such a great friend, thank you for being such a sweetie and for being taller but stupider than me :) hugs and a gazillion thanks! i'll call if i have nightmares :) and and, we'll hang out again some time soon, i promise! and my word's as good as yours :)

family supper was as it always is. silent. i wonder why i bother, sometimes.

so.. haha yeah. that's done too. so now, it's time for me to sleep cos i'm really tired. exhausted, if you may.

i'm meeting mandy for a swim tomorrow morn. but that's if i don't get my period, and if i wake up in time.

oh and vaness quek, please decide if you want to meet up with me tomorrow? cos tuesday, i won't be free and yeah i have to start putting aside time for me to go on dates with God so i can fall in love with Him again. hee love you babesy!

Grace ♥ 11:31 m.d.

hello ignore the random title i'm a little bit insane.


so today was a stressful day. never in my life have i been stressed to that magnitude on a saturday before. ok, so maybe i have. but still... gah.

T blames it on lousy delegation, but he was the one who delegated after all. i can work last minute, but not LAST minute, if you know what i mean. well T, next time you wanna leave me to do something by myself, let me know beforehand. not at 10pm on a wednesday when you want it on a saturday, and when thursday i am getting my results and saturday i'm on duty. OKAYYY?!? OKAY. and no, hugs and GRACIIEEEEs will not make up for the trauma i went through today. POO. but you're forgiven cos my heart is like a marshmallow.

colin was the sweetest gingko nut today (: he bought me happy juice to make me happy, and lovie happy juiced worked (: you see la, you see. why aren't you 19?! haha... i scare myself, sometimes. ii lurrbbiieee euusshhhh

anyway, the camera has fallen asleep again. haha i'm too lazy to recharge it and take it out with me. so.. yeah no pictures for now. AIKEN MATTHEW CHIA MING WHERE IS MY THUMBDRIVE HUH?!?! (: tank yew.

so i sit here with great trepidation as i wait upon MOE to answer me, and as i ponder about the talk in a few hours. let us name the talk, The Talk.

The Talk may turn out many ways and i'm not sure what i want the outcome to be. i keep saying God's will be done, God's will be done, but ya ok i don't even know what His will is ok? ): i just pray with fear and trembling that it will turn out alright and that i won't lose anyone. sigh. my heart goes thumpitty thump at the rate of 5149810heartbeats/second. which is not possible. but never mind.

i am putting on weight. DEPRESSING I TELL YOU. where's my 45kaygee?!?! ): i'm 51 now LEH. i put on 4kaygees since um, december 2007. DUMB IT! lose weight gracie lose weight. my skinnies are getting tighter by the second. disgusting, i say, disgusting.

honestly speaking, i've drifted far far away from God in the past few months ): i could blame it on the events but i do know that it's just me. now that life has mellowed down substantially, i look back and wonder where God was in the whole equation. in everything i did, signed, said, felt.. was God in it? perhaps to a certain extent, but not entirely so.

i miss God, you know? ): and its so so tough to get back on track after plateauing for so long. and to make matters worse, i know so much, yet it feels like i know nothing at all. and every time i talk to my cell girls, i hear the echoes bouncing off them and i find my words resounding in my ears. as much as i tell them stuff, i need to start doing it myself as well.

the hustle and bustle of life has seriously derailed me. i should've known better, i'm not one to multi-task. and see here's the thing. i do want to just sit back and get right with God, to be quiet and bask in His presence. but i can't say no to projects and things, cos i'm a leader and it's expected of me to take up the duties. i have suicidal cell girls, cell tension, cell disunity, cell cavities etc etc things to do, people to call, stuff to write. and yet i find myself doing all these meaninglessly. which makes God very sad, i should think.

i really need to shut off from people for a few days and just go into God's presence and not be bothered by the things of the world, but just to meditate upon His word and to just sit in His lap and enjoy His embrace. sounds good? i thought so too. i shall do that.

so anyway, moving away from my spiritual rift, here's my life for the next few days..
sunday-The Talk, service, lunch with Z(?), funkamania(?)
monday-Amanda, Leung, and Wen Yin (:
tuesday-Daddy's Day (both Daddy and daddy)
wednesday-Daddy's Day, piano, cell
thursday-QQQUUUEEEKKKSSS (?)
friday-Daddy's Day, Pentacost
saturday-music prac, leaders(?), prayer, YM, YA
and then it's sunday again.

life seems.. never ending.

okay now i'm off to go talk to God cos i miss Him alot alot.

Grace ♥ 1:34 p.d.

HELLO SMALL FRIES WITHOUT SALT SO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL ORDER STICKER STUCK ON YOUR RED AND YELLOW BOX!!!! :)

as you can tell, i'm as happy as Ronald MacDonald and his hideous red smile :) for more reaons than one, actually.

firstly, i thank God that i got my desired results. and trust me when i say it's all by God's power and God's power alone. when you walk out with tears streaming down your cheeks at the speed of 220km/h after THREE papers, there is no way in human possibility that i can get my results i got.

so yes, THANK YOU DADDY YOU REALLY BLEW MY MIND AWAY!!!! thank You thank You thank You :) and i'm sorry i didn't trust You 100%. i promise to trust You more from now on, and to really put You as first priority and to spend more time with You and to invest more into Your Kingdom. no, not because You came through for me, but because i want to be closer to You and i just want to be with You, to hear Your voice again. i love You Pops! :) kisses!

and secondly, i am happy because of....... A SECRET!!! okay, well technically... i'm not exactly happy. but happi-er so... :) happier is better than not happy, and i like to be happy, so thank you very much :)

and thirdly, i am happy because I HAVE A DATE WITH AMANDA LEUNG WEN YIN!!!! :)))))) hahaah babe we are going OUT on monday, you insane smart ass!!! :) i am so proud of you and your L1R5 8 points and also your spot in DPA. i know its tough for you to make a decision but i really support you in your dreams of going to VJ. i mean, who cares about your DPA approval? it is NOTHING compared to being able to say you got into VJ. GO VJ GO VJ!! then i can steal your gorgeous uniform ;) i love you aunty, we shall go out on monday! yeah!

and fourthly, i am happy because my parents are happy. when my parents are happy, it is always a good thing :) they have not been happy for quite awhile so... i shall make them happy from now on. and to make daddy happy means i will not be moving to grandma tampines' house :( which makes me sad, but it's worth it if daddy will be happy. daddy's still a small boy. haha.. i don't think he's quite ready to let go of me yet.. so.. i'll give him some time. we were talking about me taking driving just now. HAHAHAH that's like, in one year and seven months time la! say so fast.

and fifthly, (i never knew fifthly was a word. hahahah) i am happy because i swam today :) haha the Usuals came over for a short swim which was fun. tonnes of stupid laughter and splashing around, and there were no complaints and the security guard was skiving so we didn't get into any trouble at all :) love you all

and sixthly, i am very very happy cos some of my old friends called me up or messaged me, which tells me they still care! so... thank you to: KAIWEN!! (feifei soon i promise!) juzan, fazil, daryl... i miss you morons tonnes! :) and yes Juzan, i will make you proud and you will see my face on TV so you won't miss me anymore! hahaha you mouse.

so yep! tomorrow i will.. tan, go to school to collect stuff, check out the relief teaching job application thing, settle my form A, and then go for music meeting and somewhere along the whole day i will find time to talk to K on the phone cos we have "issues" to settle. hahahhaha. sounds busy enough. saturday will be insanely churchified as usual. sunday will be church, lunch, 4E1 class gathering? and then sunday will be me and Ms Mandy :)))))))))) and then... yeah my future's not quite decided.

i talk alot LIAO so i shall zoom off! thank you isaac for helping me with the whole FlyE shizzam and aiya i love you la!

EDMUND! wo shi ni de peng you!!! :)
VANESS!!! h2h. NOW! :) or next week also can :) i love you
SHENNA!!! where have you been oh gorgeous one? hang out soon?

okay okay... *rolls off like a rolls royce*

Grace ♥ 1:17 p.d.

AAAAAHHHH!!! i am a punchbowl of emotions.
firstly, it's 5A.M. and i have not fallen asleep yet.
my results are out in, uh.... 9 hours time (!!!)
i have to do that saturday cocktail thing and contact my kids (how??!!)
i have a lot of messages all of a sudden, which is making me very kecoh.
BUT i got this message which made me VEEERRRYYY happy :))))))
but as all things in life, that happy moment is overshadowed by everything else.
oh yes. and WORST OF ALL!!! I AM PUTTING ON WEIGHT!!
and people who put on weight have no mood to shop for CNY.
and anyway, i have no money to shop for CNY :((((((((((((((((

i am going to try sleeping. class lunch tomorrow! which means i'd be fasting dinner. which means... no simpang. i am deciding whether or not to go for that YA prayer meeting. i think i shall.. if i do good, i will go, if i do badly and am in need of a cry, i'll not go. i would then stay home and bash my head against the wall.

ok yes and isaac says there's no openings at Fly :((
so here are my job alternatives:
A) that march job stint with Edmund's dad's company
B) some boutique shop or whatever ordinary job
C) relief teaching at primary/secondary schools
and so.... i don't know which to do. B or C? A's in march, and that's IF Edmund hires me. hmm.... *hint hint* EDMUND YOU BETTER HIRE ME OKAYY!!!! wah. so subtle.

okay ya tired LIAO. goodbye, fellow chinks! hahaha
it's 5.19 A.M. excuse me.






!!!!! :)

Grace ♥ 5:13 p.d.

i can't even believe my own lies.
fact is, i have no right. not anymore.
so who am i to bother? or care?
this sucks more than i thought it would.
no one ever said it'd be easy.
but no one ever said it would be this hard.
i even turn to comfort food.
that's how bad this shittake mushroom is.


anyway. O levels results are out on thursday.
i'm not really bothered. no, not anymore.
there's too little left in me, to worry of such trivialities.
i am off to read, do QT, then sleep.
sleep sleep, much needed sleep.
it's been 34 hours of sleeplessness.
farewell.

to gaius: i love you, my china friend. thank you for caring so much, when it seems that no one else does.. you're the best, fat boy.

to colin: thank you for the piggy back rides today, my boy (: you have no idea how much it helped. love ya!

to vaness: three letters: B.F.F. and, and... i'm here for you to the end of time. thank you for sticking by me while i shed my tears.. i just know that you won't screw up like i did. i love you (:


*puke*

Grace ♥ 11:22 m.d.

peekaboo and how do you do? first and foremost, today was a bad day. save for the part when we all sat outside to have dinner and then peachy queks and i sat on the steps to waste time and act retarded. as for the rest of today? i shall not comment.

EXCEPT! hello uncle shadow! :) my not-so-silent blog reader who actually genuinely cares about Mr Tumms, my math and gives me tissue :) it was super nice being your friend today, shadow! along with Andy and Jacob (both of whom Isaac sat on) you are hereby dubbed, my shadow for life!! muahahaha!! and actually, you're not really shadow, per say. i look up to you, y'know? :) i just thought you'd like to know, Alvin, that you're quite an inspiration, no matter what you think :D

okay so here are yesterday's pictures. and they are up due to the incessant whining of Edmund Remy WoOng Sze Jun. (peachy's name is longer, no worries. haha)

it feels as if i haven't hung out with certain people for quite awhile.. maybe it's dance, or maybe it's school and work, or maybe it's the lack of a youthroom. either ways... you guys are missed.

oh yes. and it's official. results are out on the 25th. MOTHER MARRRYYY!!!

SHENNA HO! take care of yourself la, aunty! and get well soon please? i love you!


















































okay. it's 3.30 in the morning. i'm so tired it's not even funny anymore. sheesh.

i'm going to sleep, wake up, go tanning downstairs, then i'll decide on my agenda.


i'm tired of This. and This, whatever This is, is not helping things at all. the more This drags on, the more :( i am. which is equivalent to me bashing my head against the wall everyday. aiya, i just wish This could be normal, then i wouldn't think so much. but oh well, too bad grace. you're too difficult for This to be normal.


life is so biatechsk.
i don't like i don't like.

Grace ♥ 2:43 p.d.

HELLO LOVES! i have finally re-vamped my blog :)

so now i finally have a tagboard after three zillion years of silence on my boring blog. okay ya. it's 3 am now and i really should be sleeping cos... IT'S SUNDAY! and it's a full day of church events yet again. but i like, i like :D

i can't wait for my hot pink bikini top which maddy's gonna be getting for me from the island life shop, because because POOL PARTY'S NEXT SUNDAY!!! :DDD yes yes, all you happy 4E1-ians! we are gonna be rolling around in my pool on the 27th so bring your stuff and bunny hop to my place ok? but but let xinyi know if you're coming, lest you get lost in my 'hood :)

okay yes, having a new blogskin thing is so exciting. HAHAH. i am so lame.

i was in quite a mood just now, but the newness of my blog has distracted me. so that's good :) i am off to bed. i'm still running on 3 hours from yesterday. tsk!


oh yes! we danced at IGNITE'08 today! :) felt great, as always. but it went really really fast. but i must say, the spiritual atmosphere at the conference is positively electric! i can't wait for tomorrow to see what God's gonna do! ;) okay okay pictures tomorrow i'm going to sleep now!

goodnight y'all! love and hugs and kisses!

Grace ♥ 3:04 p.d.

vaness! :) i'm here for you, girl! ilu! i'll stand by you, through thickest and thinnest and everything in between the crispy crust of the toasted sandwich :D

shenna! girls' day out with you soon i promise! and we will give them brains! :) love love love love love!!!!

hanies! aunty as i said, even though we're not as close, i'm here for you, a shoulder, a friend, a girl-friend! :) i'm praying for you, love.. hugs and kisses and beach mats and naked frekay japs!

maddy! thank you for agreeing to help me get the bikini top!! :DD xie xie ni x3million!! :) smile aunty aunty! :DDDD <--like this. i don't know how, but you must smile like that and take a picture and post it on your blog! :DDDD hahah... jiayoujiayou! hwaitinghwaiting! gambategambate! (i can do it in three languages besides english!!!) lovia!

today leaves much to be thought about...

1. ______________________________
2. the continuously active tongues of the people i know
3. treasuring the time in secondary school
4. maturity and etc.
5. the power of love, and do we know what it really means to say "i love you"?
6. suicidal thoughts at the age of 12.. and why is it like this?
7. friendship and how strong its bonds can be
8. my evergrowing obsession with bikinis and piggy back rides
9. am i a flirt?
10. am i pampered? spoilt? :((( do i whine and complain alot? is it very annoying?

okay yes. i know some of the thoughts are quite morbid, and thought no.8 doesn't really flow with the rest, but its my blog so you shut up :) <--nice smile to make up for mean words

its a relatively deep-thought-day today...

point number two came about because i met up with Shaun for lunch today and i got a few looks from people. and i don't understand :( its nothing, really. SIGH.

and then point number two came about again when my cell kid says she doesn't dare to come to church for fear of people saying bad things about her again. and why are we even allowing gossip to cos people to FEAR coming to CHURCH!?!?! we are a sanctuary, yes?

and point number two comes about yet AGAIN, when my bestest texted me about an hour ago. SIGH. why like that?!?!













my post seems horrendously boring and morbid and whiney and overtly inquisitive. i just have to pen these thoughts somewhere, ignore it if you wish :) sorry sorry for being so annoying. goodnight! dance tomorrow dance tomorrow! we sistas got partially new costumes YO! cos we cooler dan our brudders!! :DD hee hee. i need a bigger size.

OMG! I'M PUTTING ON WEIGHT!!! shittake mushrooms.


i shall do proper shoutouts soon! it has been ages since i last did them.

:) fare thee well moronic mushrooms! may shittake mushrooms never invade your fungi lives :) let us all be super mario mushrooms, because they make funny sounds when super mario hits them with his head. and gaius, YOU ARE A GORGEOUS MUSHROOM OK?! :)

Grace ♥ 12:34 p.d.

Grace ♥ 1:06 p.d.