Hello bumbies :D


okay, honestly, I am the biggest bum today. i missed church :( which is horrendously irresponsible of me. i had plans to go to church and then come home straight to continue sleeping. BUT, i'm such an idiot, i totally slept through my alarm clock and woke up at 3. shittake.

Daddy God, i'm so sorry :(

anyway, the past few days have been insane! day after day, it has been Paid, Paid, Paid, Paid and more Paid.. but it has been my greatest pleasure :) thursday saw us working our asses off and friday saw us over nighting in church to set up the place. it was an insane race against time, an adventure of epic proportions, a.... yeah. you get it.

i had so so much fun but it was so exhausting. but it paid off, no pun intended. Paid 07 was a success and it was so so so satisfying :) the best part of it all was actually the prayer meeting, when we all held hands and we got to look around. seeing the youth group united together was a tremendous feeling. it brought about overwhelming emotions. i mean, look how far we've come! pastor mark should've been there to see it all..

and it was hilarious watching people slide down the ramp :D an absolute dream come true. we've talked about it for so long and it finally happened.

the past few days have been good :) yes. and technically, good is a gross understatement. it has been fantabulous! :DDD

and 2007 is just twenty six hours from expiry. exciting :D i can't wait for 2008 and what it has to bring.

2007 has been mild. very mild. and very torturing. i'm glad it's over. but having said that, i thank God for 2007 still, and honestly, i wouldn't have had it any other way :) despite the mellow Christmas, and the visibly quiet new year's day to come, i still wouldn't have it any other way.

2008. new year. new school. new plans. new dreams. new resolutions. new challenges. new cell members. new shopping sprees. new people to meet. new friendships to be formed. (old friendships to be caught up on!) i am so so so so so so so excited!

i spent today waking up, moaning and groaning and falling off the sofa at 3P.M. and then i decided to go to parkway on my own to shop :) and so.... i did.

shopping alone today felt right. i don't know why, but i've never felt more at ease while shopping alone than today :D so i bought sandals, a top, a skirt and a bangle. and i also bought dinner for myself :) and this break today felt so good.

back to church tomorrow for the appreciation dinner and then for the annual watch night service! i'm hoping i can go for the usual sennett stay over, but i'm not exactly expecting a desirable answer. my parents are still pretty uptight over the whole freedom shittake thing. i'm thinking that by next year they'll be okay. (they had better be! i'll be in tertiary education with a working experience already. so they had better!!!!)

okay yes, i'm done with being nonsensical.

this blog post is horrendously boring but please excuse me, my brains are still a little fried, plus, the thinner has ruined my hands..

goodnight bumbies!

1 year 8 months and 15 days more :) meanwhile, we remain good good friends! :D i thank God for you. every day with you makes up for every bad day in 2007..

Grace ♥ 9:52 m.d.

HELLO HELLO!! *wave wave*

i am feeling highly sleepy but very happy today :) happy days are good, don't you think?

anyway, i looked like crap todayy :)))))))))))) hahahahahahahaha. think, big black polo, oversized FBTs, red trail slippers, and.... my red crumpler. HAHAHAHAH. talk about a fashion disaster. but i was in such a crappy mood when i woke up, i just really couldn't be bothered.

you know, i'm putting on weight like a puffer fish puffs up :( which SUCKS. but i digress.

daddy sent me to church and then i went to NTUC to buy the baking stuff and then i baked in the pantry. (nelson and shaun were my slaves.) and i tell you the apple crumble was goooooooood! :D there is hope for me after all! i may actually survive as a wife and i may actually be able to cook for my family :DDD


Dear Casanova, please do not make me the subject of your affection. i do not like you touching me. you are really sweet but this skin-on-skin thing... it's not working. really. and Casanova, your girl would be squished into a pumpkin pie, so hands off ok? and no. i do not want to bake for you for all of my life. goodbye.



um, where was i? i keep digressing.

OH YES! apple crumble. so yeah after baking we got down to work on the logistics and we dug up all the stuff that we need. (its a secret! you all will find out on the 29th!) and then we went to blk 85 to get food and then off to shen's to paint!

it was much much fun!!

ok. my lappie is being positively anal. so i have to keep this short.

goodnight all.

i am a happy girl today :DDDDDDD

thank You, Daddy God!!

and thank you:)

Grace ♥ 1:11 p.d.

Saturday: StarAwards :D

Sunday: service, leaders' scolding session (hahah), dance practice, make up, dance performance at Katong :DDD (the performance was super good and i think we did a fantastic job! and i had great fun! oh yes! i have the video with me on CD and a few pictures though mostly my face is inside cos my dad was the photographer and he's biased.) and after the performance, we had a PAID meeting :DDDDD which was at my place which was much fun and we ended at 2am.

Monday: met joash mel nelson alicia sunny ot to get stuff at peninsular shopping mall. and then i met isaac queks char sean shens gaisu colin at ikea-tampines to do some shopping for PAID. got home and yeah okay, it's Christmas now.

so. CHRISTMAS PLANS:
10-12pm.>> Christmas Service
12-3pm.>> Christmas lunch with paternals
6.30-11pm.>> Christmas Dinner cum Birthday celebration for grandma-tampines with the maternals.

and yes, Merry Christmas, everybody.

yesterday Shenna (or was it Queks?) asked what Noel meant. Isaac came up with the brilliant theory that Noel was Jesus' third toe. for some inane reason, i don't buy his theory. so, the mystery still remains, what is Noel?

Christmas really doesn't feel like Christmas, this year. sigh.

oh yes, thank you to all those who gave me stuff, it means alot :) and i apologize for the lack of cards and/or presents! sorry sorry sorry.




i can't wait for 2008.

Grace ♥ 2:22 m.d.

Grace ♥ 8:38 p.d.

i've been so busy i haven't had time to hear myself. the silence which comes in 2008 will be scary. cos all i have to do is go to work and school. but then again, i'd have to juggle both my cells and both services and my dreams and etc. etc.

so maybe, there will be no repose from this after all.

oh and I AM SO TIRED. mentally tired, mostly. argghh.. i know i'm not THE busiest person, but this workload is gonna take a toll on me in time to come. 2007 has been a non-stop marathon.

cheerleading- church camp- exams-studying- prelims- O levels- sentosa- metamorphosis- cell outing- taiwan- YM camp- CFFF- YA camp- cell homework/tutoring day- EOY party- watchnight- HELLLLOOOOO 2008.

zoom zoom zoom. the past 5 weeks have been insane.

and in the past 5 months, so many things have changed. so many. too many.

sigh. i'm feeling a little down, inexplicably. but well, life has got to go on. so i'll pull up my socks and skip along like little bo peep.

oh yes, i need to lose 4 more kilos.
and i want to take part in the standard chartered women's 10km things next year.
and i want to go shopping.
and i haven't stepped into town since forever.
and i miss my school friends.
and i want to know my results so i can hurry uppedly go to TP and start another chapter of life.
and i want 2008 to faster come so the pain will lessen. they say time heals all wounds right? so will time please move faster?

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I
FEEL
SO
DRAINED
AND
HIGHLY
RETARDED
AND
I
FEEL
LIKE
AN
UTTER
AND
COMPLETE
BITCH
AND/OR
MORON.

senseless. all of this.

Grace ♥ 1:44 m.d.

Grace ♥ 11:55 p.d.

yes, i am back from YA camp and it was an awesome beyond awesome experience. and to everyone i've talked to about the camp, it was also a humbling process. humbling because all of a sudden i'm taking the backseat and just cruising along with others, i am no longer the person at the steering wheel, having to take leadership over anything.

anyway, this camp has been breakthroughs galore, decisions made and dreams birthed. i shan't go into details or whatever cos i'm beyond lazy. and i've made a tonne of new friends :) hello you lovely YA people (like, dixxie and my cell.)

ISAAACCC I WANT THE PICTURES OF THE BATAM KIDS OKAYY?? thank you darling, i love you, much much many many and for eternity.

there's the EOY party to plan for, starawards this saturday, dance performance this sunday, chirstmas and watchnight and 2007 ends. finally ends.

i think there's dance practice today and also the party planning comm would be meeting up. off to TP i go! (for the meeting, which is at 2)

somehow, i'm no longer excited for Christmas. it used to be "OH MY GOODNESS!! CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!" *scream scream whoop whoop prance around and make a lot of noise* and now it's just "oh yes, Christmas is coming" :'(

i really want to be excited for Christmas but it just seems so... un-Christmassy. we had all these plans and dunno what and now it's just one big fat flop. from what i heard, the comm weren't even planning for a Christmas party until we dug in our heels and asked to plan on their behalf.

NOTE TO ALL: i will NOT be getting anyone Christmas presents this year. (no, i'm not the Grinch) it's just that A) i'm broke B) there's too many people and C) i have no time for Christmas shopping, even if i had the cash.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MADDYYY!!!! :D i know you're not really psyched about your birthday but please do have a happy happy merry merry birthday cos its your special day, after all. love!

okay, this is getting incoherent and i am bored. goodbye.

Grace ♥ 8:26 p.d.

[edit]
i just found out that "fellatio" is the scientific term for a blowjob. WHAT ON EARTH??!?! why is there even a scientific term for something as gross as that? the world is officially nuts. and no, no pun intended.
[/edit]

okay. here's a real quick one.

-INFACTION's tomorrow
-my bags are not packed
-gaius has bruised me, again.
-i have a new friend named sze jun edmund
-my eyebags are huge.
-i have dark eye rings
-i need to sleep
-i need to buy batteries
-i need a good cry
-i need vaness
-i feel like kicking some people's asses
-i am in livia's cell :)
-the colouring book shall remain slightly uncoloured till i get back
-my life is busy like hell
-CFFF was a flurry of activities: drama-dj-drama-dj-drama-grand finale-meeting for EOY party
-star awards is next week and my dress is too big
-i am going to go pack my bags now
-good
-bye





whoo boy, talk about emo.

Grace ♥ 10:14 m.d.

Grace ♥ 10:50 m.d.

edacafsihtpeekotelggurtsitahtdnifitubstucdnasdnouwllaleahlliwemityasy
ehtdesufnocllitsm'itubsyadwefaneebs'tiodiodthawdnayasiodthawemlletos


tell me, tell me now!
tell you what?
i was just getting to that part...




CFFF is in about, 6 hours from now.
i'm too cluttered to sleep. too tired, to sleep.


zhihao, i do hope you go :) please do. i'd love to see you. and i have my entire life story to tell you, as you do yours.

shenna, i'm sorry for PS-ing you.. i'll tell you the truth about why i didn't stayover later okay? i love you loads and i'll be in your face for the next few weeks. kiss kiss hug hug roll around.

vaness, BFF, don't be sillybilly ok? i love you like gaius loves jarrold. no wait. i love you more! and that makes us more homosexual than them, so YAY! we win. NOTHING CAN EVER TAKE YOURRRR PLACE! you are a permanent fixture in my life..

Mr. Person. how are you doing? i haven't heard from you in awhile. i do hope you're okay. i hope we get a chance to talk soon, cos i've got a few questions to ask you. and i hope you have the answers, or at least you'd understand. love, grace.

Grace ♥ 1:35 p.d.

[edit]
NEWSFLASH:
this is totally weird cos Juzan just called me. out of the blue, at 12.15 A.M. after not talking to me for 9 months (other than the one message on his birthday). if you ask me, i find it absolutely bizarre. the conversation was short and sort of went like this.

me: uh, juzan? you called?
J: hey grace. um i thought it was your mum's phone so i hung up and uh..
me: oh. hahah nope! it's mine
J: uh. you're not asleep yet?
me: nope! i just got home not too long ago.
J: haha uh okay. uh you go rest and i talk to you soon?
me: uh yeah okay. bye!

bizarre? totalleh.

and then gaisu called :)
[/edit]

hello people :) i know its uber lame that i'm blogging twice today, but today's a relatively slack day so i have the time, PLUS, i have the resources. so, no. this post is not exactly poignant, but neither is it redundant and incoherent.

i spent quality time with people today :))))))) and that's THE most important things in life. i guess this is God's way of teaching me that life is not only about one thing. though, i must admit, i miss that one thing LOADS. but, as usual, i digress.

the day started off with me waking up at 9 which left me thinking ALOT about life, and it also left me very tired since waking up at 9 results in a total of 6 hours of sleep. not good, not good at all. but at least i had the private time to think. i wanted to go to the pool but decided against it. i'm feeling too fat for public eyes.

met up with Maddy at Bedok at about 1.30 and then we paid money to subject ourselves to eyebrow torture. but vanity is vanity, and we emerged, half an hour later, from the crevices of the saloon with gorgeous eyebrows! i am pacified. however! they rose the price from $4 to $5!!! GASP! the horror of horrors. i LOVE discounts, and i LOATHE price hikes. by an entire dollar too! but its okay, its okay. it always is okay. for my eyebrows, $5 is worth it. every single cent. yes, even that extra dollar.

we had lunch and did a little stationery shopping before i popped over to Shenna's and Maddy went off to church at about 3. i love Maddy! :) so mother la, that aunty. hello, your royal auntiness.

being the ultimate goondu i was, i got slightly lost while looking for Shenna's block. but i found it in the end :) yay, me! i was more than slightly bewildered at the sight of two funerals going on simultaneously. one was a Buddhist funeral, and the other, Christian. talk about racial harmony and multi-religious nation huh?

i had to climb up 11 stories because the lift broke down and it did not occur to me to take the other lift. genius eh? but it's okay, as always, because Shenna Ho, i would climb Mt Everest for you! :D i love you deep deep deep.

we had our usual talk and sigh, h2h, shared heartache and laughs and talked alot about ourselves and basically did our usual shenna-grace stuff :D pure bliss, that. it seems like ages since we've had a good chat like that!

left her place at 5 and i headed to church and shens headed to town for some Davidian expedition. i spent slightly less than an hour colouring stuff with Gaius and he was being an absolute slut, i tell you. he hogged my crayons!!! :( MICHELLE!! HE MADE THE AEROPLANE UGLY!! but its okay, its okay. i still have some more i can colour :)

and yes Gaisusu, my back up boyfriend, we shall colour colour together ok? next time, you bring your colour pencils and i'll bring my crayons. i can even colour your face for you, if you like :p we can colour while we're DJing on saturday!!! :))) how cool is that? we'd be the funkiest DJs in DJ-town. i love you la, you crayon-hogging moron.

and then it was prayer and i had a short but meaningful chat with Aikey the Bikey. (i have no idea where that came from. but i love you, you sexy big spender!) and yeah, we talked a little about life..

and after prayer i spent time with Baby (Jarrold) in the youth room and we camwhored like siao. then Lexxie, Dawnie, James, Baby and myself laughed our asses off while watching Jeff Dunham. that man is hilarious! and absolute legend, i tell you!

so today, i caught up with important people :D Maddy, Shenna, Gaius, Aiken, Jarrold, Alex, James, and Dawn! good day, all in all :)

here are some pictures which really brings back the memories of the old Jarrold-Baby-Grace times :) which i miss tremendously! and these are only some of the very very many!! PLUS! baby and i did stupid vids which made absolutely no sense. DUUUUUUDDEEE... i've missed you! and your moronic nonsense. yawp!










end of mega long post. GOODNIGHT!!

P.S. and ms P's here! which is actually a good thing which means by YA camp, i should be out of the red. literally. OKAY OKAY TOO GIRLY I KNOW. i have female readers too okay!

Grace ♥ 10:49 m.d.

i was just thinking about expectations, hopes and dreams. not so much faith, mind you. more like humanly expectations on life. so many things have happened and they've made me doubt my ability to dream, they've made me think twice before expecting anything, and they've made me doubt the saying that we should aim for the moon so that we'll at least land on the stars.

i mean, if you're aiming for first place, how would getting second place do you any justice? what kind of a logic is that? i'm pretty much an optimistic person, but after everything in the past sixteen years of life, i've come to think that perhaps being pessimistic is the best way. if you're pessimistic then no matter what happens, it'll either meet your pessimistic expectations or else it'd surpass your pessimistic expectations. right?

16 years on planet earth and so so so so so so many times, my expectations have failed me. my expectations of family, expectations of friends, expectations of love, expectations of situations and most of all... expectations of myself. expectations of life in whole, actually. and you know, they weren't kidding when they said history repeats itself.

i always expected family to be perfect and happy and warm and bubbly. guess not. my family may seem pretty tight and blah blah but our closeness fluctuates with immense insanity. one day they can treat me real nice and everything, and the next day she's screaming at me and hitting me with hangers over trivial matters like toilet rolls. one day we can be talking and laughing and the next, dinner is nothing but silence. and really, it's not like i don't wanna stay at home. i stay outside so much, because i see no point in staying at home. home = alone, anyway. so i stay home for...? and this failed expectation of family life makes me do a double take when it comes to marriage. i do want to get married, of course. but if my marriage/family turns out to be what it is now, then i'd rather not walk down the aisle at all.

expectations of myself is probably the greatest thing i have to deal with. i'm constantly failing myself, so much so that i don't even dare to expect anything from me anymore cos chances are i won't do it anyways. i expect straight As, expect myself to lead a thriving cell, expect myself to do so well, look so good, do this, do that, blah blah blah. but i end up just failing, hitting below par, or simply just not doing it. failing self expectations is the worst ever. cos i come down really hard on myself when i fail. which is a stupid thing to do, but i do it anyways.

it's always the case where i expect something big or bombastic and then all these expectations/false hopes leave me flat on my face in the mud, grovelling like i'm worth thirty seven cents. and then i cry and i hate myself for crying cos it's a sign of weakness and it manipulates other people's feelings. and then i try to make things better by walking around with a smile i bought from Mattel, cracking lame ass jokes because i'm not naturally the joker, laughing my head off at not-so-funny things just so that people will think everything is okay and alright.

that's why, i figure, my cell girls think that everything in my life is perfect and they want my life cos they think i'm a great leader and that my life is so awesome and tonnes of fun. granted, i do have fun in life. not all of my life was spent in Trashdom. but really, i think they can do so much better than me. (by the way, i have great friends who make my life alot more awesomer! i love you all!! )

there's this song which says um, "we're the new face of failure. prettier and younger but not any better off." true, ain't it? we might look better, be younger, have nicer hair, skinnier jeans, higher heels, tinier swimsuits, more visible ribcages, but what's the point if we end up the same?

i don't really know what i'm getting at, really. after all that i've said, i do know that the truth is, despite the disappointments i've had in life and expecting and hoping and dreaming, despite knowing that most dreams don't come true, despite knowing that when something's too good to be true, it usually is, i know i know i know that i'll go on expecting great things, i'll go on dreaming big dreams and i'll still walk around with high hopes. optimism is my way of life and i often wonder why the hell do i do this to myself.

okay. truth is. i know why. after all, if i place my faith in God, how wrong can i go right? at best, or rather, at worst, my plans would go awry and askew, but His plans would come out alright.

aiya, i talk so much and i come back to the same point i started out with. haha.. self inflicted pain? i would say so. but then again, there are the times when my hopes/dreams/expectations do come true. now when that happens.... ultimate bliss. so yes. end of monologue and i am still optimistic. after all, i still have my bible and my God, my friends and my (sort of) family, my wedges and my aching feet, and at the end of all this, heaven's waiting to let me in.

yayaya i've rambled on alot and all this is written out of 6 hours of sleep. for some reason, God's not letting me sleep more. and i do so need the sleep. but ah yes whatever. i'm up already so i shall go about doing stuff like math.

no. honestly. i am going to do math.

Grace ♥ 9:55 p.d.

okay i know i don't like it when people (or me) complain on their blogs but i just have to do this:

standing stationary for twenty minutes in a skanky bare back top right under the air conditioner in day old, four inch wedges is simply unbearable! my feet have practically become one with my wedges and i now walk with a perpetual tip toe. i cannot, simply cannot, fathom how on earth am i going to successfully stand still for, cumulatively, 90 minutes on saturday. especially with heavy make up and a glittery mask, with 150 people staring at my back with gaius farting beside me. it is just. not. done. OH GOD, PLEASE HELP ME!

so anyway, i spent the most part of today in my skanky clubber top trying not to turn into an icicle (i almost said Popsicle but i realized that's a different thing altogether) we ran the play 3 times. and my feet are beyond aching. this is why i never wear heels when shopping. okay. so i did once. but i ended up walking barefeet throughout Orchard with my heels in hand. the pain was too much for me to take. but as usual, i digress.

what did i do today? nelson PS-ed me. the butt. i hobbled over to church circa 2.45 and found myself without a trashbag buddy. PLUS the room was locked so yeah, i didn't trashbag anything cos Nelson ditched me to go somewhere to do something but i have no idea what. so yes i ambled all over our church compound and found a roomful of twelve year old little pixies and felt compelled to join them in the puny lil room. they were dancing Our Routine. which was a lil weird if you ask me, but it's not my place to say anything so yes i just sat there and helped a little.

4 o'clock heralded a stampede of little feet into the Thanksgiving Hall for corporate prayer. i shared a bit and used words like "crap" and "ass" which got me a few weird looks. but honestly, i see no reason for me to not use those words. ahh whatever. i shall refrain from using them when i'm sharing/emceeing.

and then after prayer it was trashbagging and then feet torture drama practice. i cabbed home with nelson and the cabbie talked non-stop and nelson was a butt. hahahahahahahahah. moron.

supper with daddy at the old wanton mee place :) yummy dummy but now i feel fat as hell.

okay yes, goodnight world.

thank you Isaac ong ting tong. we still need to catch up and yeah oh goodness you have so much to tell me and i have so much to say and we have so much we need to do. can we be free please? oh dear me. i love you!

to YOU. HANDS OFF. okay. really. you're attached and i'm perfectly single so take your paws off me and it's not that i don't talk to you or hug you or whatever but i have my limits ok. i might be very physical but that's all in a friendly sense. you don't see me hugging other guys for like 5 minutes non-stop or pawing them or letting them hug me anywhere below waist level, do you? that is all saved for the future boyfriend and have nothing to do with the likes of you. so please, take your hands and body and keep a distance from me. i thank God i'm not your girlfriend cos if she knows what you do, her heart would be so broken. you creep. commandment number four hundred and thirty nine. thou shalt not touch the Grace Ke unless thou art the Grace Ke's boyfriend/husband.

and to YOU. just because i'm too busy right now to meet up with you does not give you the right to show me attitude. you've known me for ages and you know that one of the things i mega cannot stand, is attitude. i've got enough crap and shit in my life to deal with, so just drop this, ok? i'm too tired to trash this out with you. goodnight.

and to the cell!!! hello babies!! okay. i've been busy like nuts and everything, but fret not, i'll be around to help you all with the holiday homework :) i've even pulled out some of my math books so i can refresh my already rusty mind. i won't be able to make it for the full cell outing cos i've got meetings galore, but i'll definitely be there for the tutoring part. i love you all deep deep!!

SHENNA: aunty! i love you! ----/-@ ugly rose for you still! so long already and i still have no idea how to prettify it. please smile for me aunty shenna!!! (sung in the don't cry for me argentina way.) i'm here! i'm here!!


okay yes okay yes goodnight for real. my eyebags are mega huge LIAO.

Grace ♥ 12:24 p.d.

someone said that. i think it's Shaun. hahahaha. yeah. it's Shaun. he was like "are you all ready for an awesome speaker? embrace yourselves, GOP etc etc etc" stupid boy.

okay i was supposed to meet Nelkai to help him with the trashbags but hahaha i woke up like, twenty minutes ago. and i am blogging now because i forgot to thank Sean in the previous post and had to edit it. and after editing it, i simply clicked on "create" and am typing things of irrelevance and incoherence. oh wow grace, great logic.


EH TEO ZHIHAO. can you please come back so i can go visit you (and sean and char) at GV tampines and mess up your hair and listen to you rave about how great OBS was? wahlau. i miss you LAH.


life is now pretty much this:
dance drama CFFF dance drama CFFF dance drama CFFF

on stage and offstage

okay. i need to go bathe and get my ass out of the house to help nelkaikaikaikakaichichichichisonsonsonsonson now. cherah, happy people!


and i thank God for great acting abilities.

Grace ♥ 12:51 m.d.

thank You Lord, for my awesome friends :)

thank You:
-to Su-lynn, for her shout out.
-to Michelle for the colouring book :D
-to Vaness for being the greatest and ONLY BFF in the world :DDD
-to Maddy for loving me and for agreeing to sit in the eyebrow torture chair with me
-to Shenna whom i love eternally who messaged me the sweetest stuff in the world
-to Chuan who taught me obedience, sacrifice and faith
-to God who never left me and never will
-to Gaius who is retarded but i love you :)
-to Nicole who tried to catch my tears but failed. haha.
-to Vicky who offered to let me take dance easy on count of my watery eyes (but no, it's ok dear:) i shouldn't be giving God any less than He deserves, no matter what the situation is like. but i love you, Tallie! )
-to Gina who loves me still and who never fails to be there to hug me.
[edit]
-to Sean: my apologies for missing you out yesterday but i was so so tired and brains were not functioning and eyes were pretty drained. SORRY!!!!! and thank you for sitting with me at the other end of the train when everyone else was on the other side. thank you for being sucha good friend despite all our quarrels and flares. thank you for being there to just show face. thank you , thank you, thank you!
[/edit]

thank you all for just caring and loving me genuinely, although most of you don't even know what's going on. hahahahah. ignorance, is bliss. LOVE YOU!

specially to Vaness:
babe, thank you for being here for me through it all. from the years before, to the times of anticipation, to the times where i finally knew, to the times where i was elated, to the times like now when i'm in the pits of the pits of the smelly hairy armpits. you've been here for me. and i just want you to know how much i love you and that i care alot about you. nothing, and no one, can ever change the BFFship between us. you've been my strength and my happy pill, my provoker and lover, my annoyance and comfort. (this is getting damn mushy but never mind la huh.) and so i love you from now till the end of time. and if there were bestfriends in heaven, you'd still be my bestest.


update:
-i bought wedges, not stilettos.
-i now pray that i die before my menopause so that the people around me won't be affected

Grace ♥ 12:04 p.d.

will someone please dance with me in the rain?
can he do banana in pajamas imitation with me?
would she hold me and tell me that every thing's gonna be alright?
please would he kiss me on the cheek and tell me that although he has known me for 16 years, he still loves me like crazy?
will someone wait for me for 6 hours just to eat dinner at beer?
can someone buy a colouring book and colour it with me in crayons?
would someone please go with me to do my brows for $4 at the bedok place?
will someone "sleep over" with me and just spend the whole night talking so that the next day we'll be so dead?


nothing has been said yet, but already there's a sense of fear.
i don't know what to do, what to say, how to react.



i hate this.


Dear Lord,
if this was one of Your displays of Your impeccable sense of humor, then i do hope that at least You had a good laugh. and when You're done laughing, remember me and comfort me a lil ok? thank You very much. and i love You. i love You when i'm down, and i love You when i'm hyper. i'll praise You when i smile and i'll praise you when the tears just stream. i'll praise You when i'm lonely, i'll praise You when i've got my friends. i love You Lord, for all eternity.
love,
grace.

Grace ♥ 9:54 p.d.

I NEED TO GO SHOE SHOPPING TOMORROW FOR STILETTOS. ANYONE WANNA COME ALONG? I HAVE TO BE IN CHURCH BY 2PM BUT BEFORE THAT I NEED TO SHOP COS I NEED RETAIL THERAPY TO HAPPIFY ME.

okay yes, i am whining. damn, i hate whining bloggers.


think happy thoughts, Grace!

stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos stilettos

Grace ♥ 11:31 m.d.

hello wello smelly fellows!!! :)

today was such an incredibly packed day! but it's all good cos that means i made use of every second of my time.

there was service (where daddy was such a great facilitator of the Holy Spirit and i don't mean to brag but my daddy's a great pastor. my role model, in that sense.) and then toddled off for drama practice (where gaisu and i now have this emo scene) and then there was the Rehearsal, then back to drama, the off to dance, then back to drama, then off to studio for yet more dancing, then The Phone Call (it's been too long, darling! i miss you!) and then i had wanton mee with NelChiChi.

Nelson has been the sweetest, i tell you! hahahhaha. i love that goondu. i've been getting hugs and bus rides and dinners and cab rides and stuff like that. OH! and talks and fun stuff. nyah! nelchichi!!!!!! oh and apologies, my dear goondu, for being late today. hee.

okay anyway, i've decided against blogging about taiwan and/or youth camp cos that's all so... passe. just that youth camp was truckloads of fun and laughter and weird stuff and i got to know janna, aaron, kelly, mel, moses (again), nelson, char, jarrold and a few more a whole lot better... and aaron is retarded.

i've decided to blog, instead, about people. and of course, that i have yet to lose any weight. DISGUSTING.

2007 has zoomed pass and it's already december 9/10. SO FAST! i still remember how in january i was fretting over Os and stuff and now i'm already done with it. and then in march there was the whole cheerleading shenanigan which i miss like crazy. and then there was church camp which seems like only yesterday. and then there are all the people who seem to not exist anymore. but then again, i think that is largely my fault.

anyway, just a small/large part to some people, shout outs of sorts:


i miss the days where you were always there for me. looking back on all our pictures, we did look like a couple! hahahahah. but it was all platonic, of course. i never told you, but i really do appreciate you serenading me when i demanded you to, i really do appreciate the piggy backrides (even now) and i love and appreciate all your funny jokes to try to make me smile when i was down, and even for you going out of your way to be stupid so i would laugh. i still do love you tremendously much, and we're still young so there's all the time in the world for us to get back what we lost. you are and always will be, my moron.


hey you all! we need dinner this week okay? it's been way too long since we last met up (which was sentosa on 8 november so that makes it more than a month). i do miss the good old days where we used to study/not study together and make silly jokes, cry together, worry together, pray together, mock one another, plan out our lives, call each other, message each other with all-the-best messages.... all these things seem so far away but honestly, it's been 31 days at best. i miss miss you all like siao! lotsa love!

Grace ♥ 11:52 m.d.

mr tumms refuses to move. my weight stands at 50kg. (cue: puking sounds from audience)

i have obviously never been to a club so i don't know what clubbers actually wear.

i miss you teo zhi hao.

i have drama mama business tomorrow but i'm busyfied so i don't know how to work around that.

and yeah ok, so the biggest issue in my life is: I NEED TO MEET ISAAC ONG TING TONG FOR LUNCH SOME TIME SOON BECAUSE THIS DATE IS WAAAAAAAAY OVER DUE.

other than that..... it's my weight.

but when i talk about my weight people will kill me. so i don't talk about my weight. i blog about it. HAHAHAHAH!!! cos it's my blog. MINE! (wahlau. like some spoilt brat. but i digress.)

i went down to arab street with shaun and hosea in the morning. and it was so hilarious. from the van ride, to shaun's frequent toilet trips (we were out less than two hours and he went to the toilet three times.) to the __________ and even hosea's parking. HAHAHAH. we parked in some illegal place and half of the butt of the van was sticking out for the world to drive straight into. thank God nothing happened.

after that was drama and then YM and then YA.

you know right..... i feel so detached from the world right now. i really miss all you people LOADS.

BFF, hanies, zaza, kaikai, zhihao, Chuan, isaac, aiken, Family, juzan, chellie, mayng, mich, mish, EILEEN, janice, etc.....

OH!!! and i saw jonathan oh today!! after seven long years! and he still recognizes me and i vaguely found him familiar.

okay yes i'm off to bed.

choodles!

Grace ♥ 1:11 p.d.

hello wello smelly marshmallows!!!

okay actually, i'm the smelly one here. hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

i have missed you, my stupid blog and my friends!

and because i'm dead tired, i have to say this: I HAVE PUT ON WEIGHT.

*puke puke puke puke puke* so gross LA! i hate the stuuuuupid weighing scale. and ironically, i gained weight at camp and not taiwan. HAHAHAH. siao right? i also know. i desperately need to lose 4 more kg. it seems that every time i lose weight, i gain it back somehow.

i'm 50, AGAIN, and it is so NOT funny. wahlaueh. i don't like this!! weight fluctuation is much detested.

INFLUENZA was good and i was mostly impacted by the people and my group (and Samson screams). i'm not saying that i don't wanna save my school or what but maybe it doesn't apply to me entirely at this moment in time because i am now completely and utterly schooless. so prayerfully i'll be able to save my campus in TP or whichever poly God tells me to go to.

as i was saying, i'm dead tired so i'm going off to bathe and sleep and think about how i am going to lose weight. my weight disgusts me totally. YUCK. go away mr tumms. go away kilograms! maybe that tiny ahbeng wasn't joking when he called me a fatty. GRRRR. KENNY!!!!!

oh, and hello B2! you are the retardedest person i have ever met and i thank God that this camp gave us the opportunity to get to know one another better. and so now i know that aaron something guang heng is a complete moron. HAHAHAH :D with love, of course.

love you all! night!

Grace ♥ 11:02 m.d.

okay, in all aspects of sanity, i should be asleep. but surprise, surprise, i'm not. hahahah. i'm dead tired la. and i'm still trying to get back in the swing of things. it's a little more than difficult to be away for six days of (almost) utter relaxation (save for the strained relations) and then be throttled back in the thick of things.

i need a P.A.

hahahahah! siao ah, grace.

i'm just going to type out my schedule and then shout outs and then i'm off to continue packing, writing, cutting, pasting, then SLEEP. thank God for sleep.

*camp stuff: extreme word/ the act/ superband/ got talent/ next top model/ dancefloor/ sportsday/ bible quiz on joshua/ emceeing

tuesday-INFLUENZA [playing for night service]
wednesday-(happy birthday seanie!) INFLUENZA [playing for night service]
thursday-INFLUENZA [playing for morning service]
friday-INFLUENZA/drama practice
saturday- fitting/drama practice/prayer+service(s)
sunday-service/drama practice 1-3/secret 2-3/dance practice 3-9

insane.


okay yes, shout outs :)

BFF: hullo darling darling rain's darling! to no surprise, you find your name here, yet AGAIN. just wanted to publicize my love for you :) hahah. really really really great seeing you today after 902175187days and we are in major need of a H2H, i tell you! i hope the scarf doesn't give you heat rash after all.hahaha. love you deep deep and i'll see you on saturday!! :) and thank you again for waiting a total of 6 hours for me today. hee.

LEELEESEAN: i miss you! we haven't been talking much of late due to both our mood swings and irritations and lack of time and space. goodness! we used to be SO close! we need o start talking again la! love you still seanoriah! 4 days in camp with you, AND YOU TURN SIXTEEN FINALLY!!! happy birthday, in advance ;)

SHENS: gorgeous sexy alluring closie :D i miss our mega long overnight never ending girlfriend to girlfriend talk! hahah. love you to bits and pieces and thank you for standing by me! i saw you today and will be seeing you the next 4 days, but i miss you!

DANELLIA: sorry i wasn't there to hug hug you when you needed me :( but now i'm back! and my shoulders are yours and you can hug me all you want! hahha. i'm here for you (and no, it's not a cliche). love you! but as much as i love you, samson will kick your team's ass!

MADDY: hang in there!!! and if all else fails, just stand! love you love you and i know life's insane for you right now, but when you get your well deserved break, you will mega enjoy it! hahah. try to find some sanity despite the insanities in your life ok? take for example, God. hee. you're strong already, so stay that way and don't crumble under all this pressure! hugs!

SU-LYNN: ok you retard! just a quick one to tell you i love you and that you are horrendously retarded! and your group might be a tad bit difficult, but stay strong for the next 4 days and it'll all be over and we'll grow from it so much ok? :) kisses, drama queen.

LUKIE: cabbage head. i miss you so so much. it feels like it's been forever, and truthfully, it has. i can't wait till i get the chance to serve with you on the same band and i can't wait till we get to hang around like the old times. love you lukie cabbage head ang ku kueh.

KAIWEN: eh uncle! i'm super mega busy now but i PROMISE i will pop by SP to have lunch with you REALLY soon. ok? :) you'd better pick me up at the mrt lest i get lost in that old old poly. very scary you know? and you'd better appreciate my efforts ok, you himbo? :D hugs! we have SO much to catch up on. i practically do not know you anymore :( love!

BENJI: eh mat, sorry i didn't get anything for you :( it's not that i forgot or anything like that. sorry sorry sorry but it DOES NOT MEAN THAT I LOVE YOU ANY LESS COS I STILL LOVE YOU LIKE CRAZY BANANAS AND I MISS OUR CLOSENESS OK! :( we don't sit at the bench and gossip about ourselves anymore :( ARRGGHH!! i miss my mat!

HANIES: AUNTYY!!! i'm back! but i'm gone again :( we WILL shop and that's a promise! i love you like i love lamp posts (i love them alot cos they light my way) and we WILL WILL WILL WILL WILL WILL WILL meet up real real soon!

ZAZA: i where got action lorxzxzxzxxz? hahahah. my superhero_chiobuxx. i bet you're still as retarded as ever and we have to meet up sometime soon!

AIKEN: aikey matthew charming! i miss you alot alot and we need to catch up ok! as Family and as friends! it's been WAY. TOO. LONG. lunch/dinner/whatever soon ok? :) love you!

ISAAC!!! i still owe you lunch since like three thousand years ago! :( this is bad. we need to find time for you and me to sit down and get cosy over a cup of coffee and some cakes. ARGGHH!! monday monday? are you free? are you free? i love you so darned much! i can't wait for THE party and alot alot of stuff. but top on the list of priorities is our date ok? i should stop procrastinating. tsk. LOVE!

CHUAN: hello you uncle-ish person! it's been so long (six days.) since i last saw you and argh! miss you LIAO. can you please not go gloomy and please be nice to kaisheng :) i'm still his fan club. hahhahahah. okay yes i have alot of stories to tell you about the cheena-ness of taiwan. i'll be seeing you soon!!! :D love you! and thank you so very much for sticking around:)

GAIUS: hello you siao siao. it's funny how we've been so much closer lately (after 16 years) and sorry i always don't answer your calls (you always call at times when i'm not near my phone) and sorry for prematurely ending our phonecall. hahhaha. you and i are busy people so i had to toddle off. (and here i am doing this because i'm distracted) okay yes, i love you gaius and you are so retarded i can't believe it. and i also can't believe i used to have a crush on you and i can't believe that you are now a leader and a worship leader and oh my goodness you are so power power now. cheers to all the things we have to do together in this month and cheers to 16 years and cheers to the stupid things we do (like our mole connection). i hug you!

SAMSON: we will kickass! but you guys and girls need to shut up and pay attention and listen when we talk ok? love you all alot and we gotta gotta gotta stick together through these 4 days and even past them. SAMSONITES!!! and marcus you are so cute and you look malleable.

MELISSA: you chinese speaking drama mama you! :) thanks so much for working with mosie on the script. i'm sorry we had to redo most of it but hey! it turned out great :) you're such a funny bunny and i thank God we're on the same team. i don't know you very very very well but i know you well enough to say i love you! i look forward to drama practices and just years of friendship with you :D

CELL: don't fight. i'm not leaving. i love you all. please love each other. please don't love boys. don't make my mistakes ok? we've come so so far and we really need to be united in order for us to grow more and to do greater things for God. i believe that transparency is the best policy so we really need to stop hiding things and just come clean with one another. i love you all so so much. each and every single one of you. STICK TOGETHER TEAM CELL!

okay, done! i will miss you all, my YA friends. hahahhaha. yeah yeah shut up grace.

AAAAAHHH!!! this took 26 minutes. i'm gone now. TTFN!


astalabista baby, i'll be back. ( or whatever arnold whatsisname says)

Grace ♥ 12:53 p.d.

HELLO SINGAPORE!!!

it's december already, oh dear me, time does fly.

6 days immersed in Chinese culture, and hell yeah i'm back!
i was SO looking forward to coming home, for some inane reason.
but yeah, coming home didn't really match up to my anticipation.
and again, for some inane reason. but i digress.

i'll blog more about Taiwan and it's Chinese-ness when i'm free!
plus i've got pictures galore, forgive the narcissism.
and i've gained one kilo due to the inability to not eat a lot.


i'm back, i'm back.
but undeniably
-perhaps inevitably-
Something changed.



5-6-7-8 show the way out Losers' gate.

Grace ♥ 1:04 p.d.