May slips past silently, like a ninja, its presence scarcely known.
June creeps in, like a stranger, on tip-toes across the universe.

this year has really zoomed around.. halfway already. HALF WAY. i can remember all the minute details of last december, and now it is june. almost. but, june. i can't recall the last time minutes ran so much faster than i could.

i am putting on weight like a corn kernel under heat. (a.k.a popcorn)

things were good today.. way better than before and well, there's breakthrough in areas which were ice before.. am looking to raise up a new leader, so that perhaps we can multiply, or come up with a new cell structure that can incorporate the boys as well.

but somehow, i'm so attached to being a cell leader, i don't want to be an overseer ): but i guess, with everything comes progress, with progress comes change.

we had such a good time today at GoP's birthday (: hello xavier and calvin, welcome to the cell. and the rest of the girls were angels (: many photos to be uploaded.. round 2 tomorrow..

off to bed i go now (:

i have cultivated a horrible habit of sleeping late and now i cannot sleep before 12am -.-

Grace ♥ 2:28 p.d.

the past two weeks have been whack. WHACK.

school's whack, relationship's whack, mind's whack, family's whack, everything's whack. but the best part about it all is, through all the whack jobs, they're all still here.

school is still school, and i still have me opportunity to ace this diploma and get into a good degree. boyfriend is still my boyfriend and i guess this is our way of working towards life together. mind is still mind, still emotional, still creative, still a little tired, but still there and more than fully functional cos God has given me a beautiful mind. family is still family and we are going prawning next week, i still buy mummy random accessories to thank her, daddy still has retarded text message convos with me, and we are still 3.

everything is still everything, and my life had not been removed. so if you ask me, maybe the past two weeks have not been so whack after all.

its like this you know. right after you preach a sermon on victory, there are, all of a sudden, a million things to fight for. one of them is sanity, the other is excellence, and yet the other is the Love of God.

oh God i SO need more of You in me ): MORE MORE MORE LIKE THAT NOT ENOUGH

okay holidays are not holidays anymore
church camp will be spent skyping with group mates to settle group projects.
there are multiple filming dates
so to scare myself (and fellow CMMers reading my blog), here's what's due:

-SMM test (indiv) 3 June
-PSA (gw) 9 July
-TVC (gw) 9 July
-BMR lit. review (indiv) 22 june
-mosaic (indiv) 24 june
-Single cam: skills test 2 (indiv) 25 june
-radio: why i love the music i do (indiv) 23 june
-radio: ad on McDonald's (indiv) 7 july
-BMR pilot survey + final questionnaire (gw) 22 june
-SMM marketing proposal + presentation (gw) 26 june
-Single cam: pitch session for remaking a scene (gw) 2 july
-SMM journals part 2 (indiv) 10 july

and then got some more. haha but wait for after redang
so exciting, my life!!! (:

as i was saying, bring it on

Grace ♥ 1:30 p.d.

i'm sorry for being such a horrible girlfriend ):L (loser sign on forehead) its like i try and i try, but nothing ever seems to be okay. makes me wonder if i'm all that i make myself out to be, or all that you've waited for. i'm sorry. i love you more than i can say. and i show it in all the wrong ways.. but i really do love you, and i don't wanna lose you. whether to lose this status, or worse still, your heart. i want to make this better, i do.i really do.

Grace ♥ 1:56 p.d.

helloooo!!!
guess who's back? back again?
YELLOW MAN'S BACK!
TELL A FRIEND!!
:D
best news i've had in ages :)
i didn't die in the few days but it sure is good to see you again bumble tot :D :D :D :D

he was the sweetest thing cos 3 hours after he touched down, he came over to take me out for dinner and give me a blow-by-blow update on his NZ trip :) now i want to go to NZ too.. the place is gorgeous! daddy was really nice and gave chuan the car keys without us even asking :) talk about a surprise.

hahah and then wednesday i borrowed his camera (logan is sick :/ ) to go to the museum, and then got invited to a dinner with his family (wahlau, stupid train stopped for 20 minutes and they waited for me! so sweet! *sniffles*) and he gave me my pretty presents :D which includes................ *drum rolls* ANOTHER SNOW GLOBE!! :) *cheers* my snowglobe collection is starting out pretty strong :) hahah a new collection to talk about :) and it was really nice just lazing around, talking and doing stupid things with window blinds. and you're the best shoulder to cry on

she hasn't been so kind the past few days. monday and tuesday was so nice. and then the last two days have just been relentless tongue lashing which has really really hurt. more than before. but i am victorious, because my God is victorious. i am more than an overcomer and my God is my refuge. hail, hail the Lion of Judah

but it'd be really nice if you stop um doing this to me thanks.

anyway, it's been a struggle trying to balance life.. but then i've had the sudden realisation that ive been failing drastically cos i've been depending on human strength and not on God. -.- i always do this to myself. why????

two days to the big day! and it's both scary and exciting.. big things happening! and i just really pray for God's anointing and for His protection and strength.. off to sleep now! SMM at 9am tmr -.- snore!

Grace ♥ 12:46 p.d.

i look at the assignments due when school reopens and i cry.
get this, i haven't even started my holidays yet.
oh man.

and i haven't finished my sermon.
and hello yvonne! yes we should :) not sure when i'm able to though.

so yes, yellow man coming back tomorrow.
i hope he doesn't get quarantined :/
cos ifran didnt reply my text, does that mean i go to SAM alone?
long day tmr
wednesday must get more work and sermon done
comm on thursday
friday chiong sermon
sat school then preach then heave a huge sigh of relief
sunday service then haffiz teng teng teng teng
monday, RJ1 due (how to do uh?)
tuesday long day again then wahlau one week gone already oh and ethan's birthday *cheers*
wednesday must get work done, oh yeah Pastor Tan's coming
thursday and friday should see me rushing out as much work as possible, hmm should try to squeeze in as much studio time as possible.
saturday, service (i'm playing finally aft a long break) maoqi's 21st
sunday service, church camp briefing, GDOP
monday chiong work
tuesday and wednesday cell
thursday family bbq cos twin's bday
friday mike connell
saturday mike connell x2
sunday to thursday go church camp
friday school lip dubbing filming thing
saturday service
sunday service
then okay one week of rushing datelines and hello back in school
one month like that. zoom zoom zoom.

maybe i can squeez in more gym/badminton sessions like today haha
ran today, 3k *cheers*
okay i know it sounds like peanuts but hello i haven't ran since rudolf was a reindeer okay
i think i want to get daddy and mummy to play badminton together next week
i bought mummy pretty flowers today. i like them. but i don't know what they're called ): some cheem name starting with O *hint hint chuan*

everyone should own a snowglobe and read michael palmer.

Grace ♥ 10:46 m.d.

i miss my yellow man. haha eh but i think i've matured considerably. seeing as how these many days have not left me shriveled on bed in tears like i expected to be. haha i really am surprised! i normally am sappy and whiney. YAY!! GRACE GROW UP LIAO! *cheers*

i've survived hell week part one, and am prepping myself out for the chaos i know will hit me. so now i'm jotting down all the work that is due and segmenting each assignment to sieve out what i can do in advance. i'm so intense right?

the 4.0gpa for 2 years in order to get 3.66gpa is really scary you know? i'm afraid that i'd be let down by the results, but i'm positive that i'm going to make it. what are a few As right? :/

today was the AYG thing which was hugely boring and i think i'm not going to do it anyway, due to lack of time. HOWEVER, i had tremendous fun hanging out with a completely diverse group of people i've barely met before. hahah i like them :)

cell today was fabulous! exceptionally exceptional and there was such a huge sense of joy around. i love it! it should be like this and better each and every week! :) and i was so glad to see so many of them, and to note that our numbers are slowly rising agian :D i am so proud of the girls and mike and i do love them truckloads and lorryloads

okay i'm really tired and i have fruit juice in my tummy so it looks like i'm going to go to sleep now.

tomorrow is a long long day.
Oh Lord, save my soul

Bel got me a snowglobe! :) *shakes snowglobe violently* i am super duper happy like more super than super mario like that

3 days more!!!

Grace ♥ 12:05 p.d.

EAT PEANUTS, HAVE ALLERGIC REACTIONS AND DIE STUPID PROPOSALS!!!!! I AM DONE WITH YOU!!! \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/

stupid things.
3hours of sleep.
now i am going to school.
to hand in my u-art design plan.
to Herny.
who is uber hot.
but wahlau.
9am for a submission.
not funny ah.

Grace ♥ 8:12 p.d.

so i'm leaving in less than an hour and my bags are not packed and i'm really not bothered. i'm not psyched at all about getting away from Singapore, although i've been wanting to. maybe cos this isn't exactly a holiday, and things aren't turning out the way i'd expected.

i'm trying to mentally prepare myself for the next 12 days. or actually, more like 11 la. ya. 11. it's not supposed to be difficult, and it's not supposed to mean anything. but to tell the truth, it looks like a tough 11 days ahead.

in two days, i'll be back in singapore.
in five days, i have a mosiac design plan due.
in six days, i have a PSA/TVC proposal due AND a test.
in seven days, i have a BOE proposal due.
in nine days, there's the HBDI workshop.
in eleven days, you're home.
in fourteen days, i have a SMM journal due.
in fifteen days, i'm preaching.
in sixteen days, HAFFIZ IS GETTING MARRIED!
in seventeen days, there's a BMR review.
in eighteen days, there's another test
in twenty-two days, it's MQ's birthday and gray areas i hope we don't argue about
in twenty-four days, May is gone, and June silently takes its place.

11 days without you. maybe it's a good time for a break, and evaluation, a little bit of change. maybe we've been doing things wrong and maybe this time we can do it right together.

11 days. time for caliberation once again. almost half a year has gone and what have i been doing? i shall not leave these 11 days the same way i enter them.

farewell, sour, bitterness, angst, fear, worry. hello, joy, faith, hope... love.

Grace ♥ 4:13 m.d.