15 sentences to sum up my day:

1. i miss you insanely much
2. Lukas is friggin' cute and has awesome eyes that pierce my knees
3. i spent the day checking out divers with Lukas
4. the whole time i was thinking about you instead
5. i made new friends
6. my eyes are opened alot wider to what goes on behind the scenes
7. i have new pimples
8. my period is lousy and i need to not have period while diving
9. today i laughed empty laughs
10. i felt horrible when i wokeup
11. i twitted 3 times today
12. i had subway for dinner
13. i attempted to shop but failed cos i just wasn't into it
14. justin is a teletubby
15. i have a new bag divider ah yee gave

Grace ♥ 10:31 m.d.

it's like we're grabbing at fragments that we're not sure exist

LT's on a low. do something about it before someone else does.


meanwhile, i divert my attention to other aspects of life.
like, songwriting. a prophesy that's slowly coming into fruition.

Grace ♥ 1:10 p.d.

everything i've placed as importance in my life is slowly shifting, changing. some for the better, and some for the worse. it always is a heartbreak to have others question your beliefs.

i've had alot to think about lately, and the thinking has tired me out considerably. i think about things like, where is Grace from 6 months ago? that Grace was on fire and on the ball. hardly ever slipping up, successful, determined. the Grace now is kinda, o-kay. i mean she's not bad, but she's not the best.

i've also been thinking about what YA means to me, or if it means anything at all. it is difficult to say because GoP is my life.. the people there are the ones who touch my heart, they're the ones i cry over and they're the ones who keep me around. i don't exactly know how to balance this GoP-YA scale, and few would understand how to go about it. someone help me?

there's more but eh why drag it up..

i really miss Chuan (contrary to popular belief, i do not see him often and we are not mushpots, Gabs) and its been kinda tough not being able to communicate often. and if this is the way things are now, i kinda am afraid of what things will be like when he starts school ): but we will overcome this... yes we will (: i love you, bean stalk

BMR is a depressing subject... i must finish this fast so i can spend time with my father

Grace ♥ 5:20 m.d.

you don't even know how this feels

Grace ♥ 10:38 m.d.

Today, i lost a friend to protect a heart. i guess i've learned one aspect of love, of sacrifice.

Today, i gave up friendship because friendship mocked my relationship. i guess i've learned the value of Us.

Today, i went out with my freshly discharged mother to the prawn pond, then to Mac's, then back to the prawn pond and then supper at Balestier Road and stumbled home at 2am and one whole day behind my work schedule. but i guess i've learned the power of a will to live, and the importance of family.

Today, i chucked me-time for family-time. but i guess i've learned that family comes before work.

Today, i bought a whole load of necklaces for only $10. but i guess i've learned that money don't come easy.

Today, i didn't meet God in a mind-blowing manner. but i guess i've learned that no matter what, He's always there.



24 hours, and so much has transpired. i can't wait for the next 24 hours.
It has been a really fruitful 24 hours. and wouldn't have lived it any other way.


i pray for my mom, i pray for my family.
i pray for you, baby, and i pray for us.
i pray for me, and how You can use me.
i pray for hmmm.. You, and me.

Grace ♥ 2:45 p.d.

i webcammed with the BFF while at church camp!! hahah (: i miss you watermelon bum

camp was amazing.. a whole new experience seeing my own church on fire. its been a much awaited firing up, but (i digress, i just killed a cockroach MYSELF) it's great, honestly, great.

this is a conversation among aunties and uncle in the lift:
"wah fire already the church"
"yes this was much needed"
"next week the adults sit in the front row!"
me: ya uncle aunty i ask the youths to reserve the seats for you okay?
"wah wah revival!!"

so yes, revival indeed (: see revival doesn't take place when 3million people stream into your church. revival means the bringing of life into dead things. so when you don't do something and then you do it, it's a revival! there is a momentum in the church now, where revival is taking place in many individuals hearts, and i pray it won't die out

the coach ride to church camp was not funny at all. bumpy backseat and multiple toilet breaks meant lousy sleep. and HAHAHAHAH on the way back i drooled on my boyfriend's shoulder. HAHAHAHAHAHA i is so cool i drool

only Jolin and i were on the same coach and the rest of the cell was with Lydia in another. however, i wouldn't say it was a one woman show. there is always unseen teamwork that most people assume don't exist. but we take our shares and we do our fair bit. so that was a uncalled for remark, smarting, actually.

cell was pretty chaotic the whole time i guess. haha i mean, we had fun la, but there were alot of fights and attitudes which were unnecessary but part of growing up i guess. but like i've learned, Problems, People and Pressure were placed in our lives to perfect us, not to break us down. so yes, am keeping my chin up and am praying for a direction for this cell. we desperately need growth and we desperately need love and unity, and humility too.

thank God for chuan though, he really was such an angel (: thanks for being there for me, and for giving up time to be with me, and for tahaning the weight of my head and the wetness of my drool. hahah (: you're the bomb and i love you forever!

God, in camp, was God. i mean, completely mind-blowing stuff where He was just uploading things rapidly into everyone, and i personally had an encounter of a lifetime. i would do it again and again and again and again, even if it meant i had to go on all those bus rides again

so now life is back in fullswing! meetings back to back, work to be done, assignments to be finished up, reality is here. and honestly, its not as bad as i thought it would be. haha

just came home from a party an hour or so ago. loud music, smoke, booze, dancing, drunk people. i can't say it wasn't fun at all (drunk people are kinda funny, and i have my people like Sam, Sammie, Josh, Jin, Z etc twas fun) but i can't also say that it was fulfilling in anyway. left feeling a little more hollow with a resonance of sadness on behalf of those who were wasted. i mean, at the end of the day, the point was....?

Shah called me "all you Christian people" which i guess in a way was a double whammy. it is either an insult (that i, Christians, are too boring and stoic to understand a party) or a compliment (that i am holier! haha)

but i guess, in order to salt humanity, we cannot be completely devoid of humanity. not encouraging this though. wasn't a good experience very much.. i enjoy being at home better, or at dinner with Jie Jie Sam, or with B at the beach or something

there's been alot of disappointment in people lately, but i will keep my eyes fixed on the Creator, because church is not church without God.

okay goodnight folks! grace is off to bed.

Grace ♥ 1:20 p.d.