NOTES-TO-SELF:

1) clean up room please
2) spend even more time with God
3) learn to live without boyfriend
4) find a job with like, MOE or something
5) meet cell kids individually or small grouply (:
6) mother's birthday on friday ya?
7) upload the 1200 photos from Logan NAO!
8) annoy Yvonne (: TEE HEEX
9) find suitable bowling clothes skali zhaogeng with JX and Tinky
10) hang out with more friends (where you all go ah?)
11) RUN AH RUN! train and lose weight please
12) beat daddy in prawning
13) finish up final projects *cheers for coming hols*

my laptop's charger is like, losing connection with my laptop. probably because it kept getting yanked off in lectures and classes so like, its really weak nao ): i are sad... HOW TO CHARGE THE LAPPIE HUH!! kanasaigangwarrior.

i think i won't be seeing Chuan at all this week ): and the feeling/thought of it just sucks straws man.. but its okay, we have to learn how to deal with this anyway.. imagine when his school starts (which is too soon man) or when i go for OSIP for 6 months.. ): *sniffles*

you know, as much as i get so friggin' exasperated with Chuan so often, i really don't want anyone else but him. his boyishness and insensitivity can drive me crazy, but there are so many things about him that STILL makes me weak in the knees, even after all these years (: if this isn't how love begins, then i don't really know what is. but i dare say i love you tremendously.

with the whole thought of my birthday coming up, it brings shivers through my bones man. imagine, another year into life. o.O and scarier still is the whole celebration shizz.. if you ask me, i just want to go to a spa with my BFF and then go do our nails together, and we can talk and talk and talk and chillax. and then i'd like to be booked into a nice hotel room for some me/God-time, and then maybe a sweet dinner with my boyprend.. and i'd like to go prawning the next day with my loveable parents but like, i gotta watch the nails too. HHAHAHAH

so the holidays are coming up.. i have grand plans, and i have grandiose purposes. and i really hope they all come thru and that this holiday will be much more worth it man. i mean, the intern thing was cool, but it was really shortlived. now i wanna earn some money, get some experience, and learn how to balance out my time between God, church, cell, cell, working, family, boyfriend, other ministries, friends. will be tricky but i think it'll be for the best

okay am going to bed now, cos my eyebags touch the floor.

HAH!

lurb chu all!

Grace ♥ 12:37 p.d.

seriously, i think life is for teaching you lessons you can use in the future. and by that, i refer to life when you're on your own. school teaches you alot, but it doesn't teach you what to do when you're stuck with a seemingly never ending curfew, it doesn't teach you how to deal with the disappointment that comes when someone dear to you picks inanimate objects over you, it doesn't teach you how to control your emotions when you're running late and time seems to go by even quicker while everything else comes to a stand still.

today has been a challenging day, to say the least. but i know that i have God on my side, letting me fight my own battles cos He's perfecting my faith. can't say it was easy, can't say it was pleasant. but i know i'm growing and that much helps.

today's 2 years, unofficially. haha probably the last time we'll celebrate 22nd July. from now on it becomes an ordinary day. might as well, anyway. today really wasn't the best day ever.

had breakfast with chuan at his place with his parents around. was kinda nice, except that i was late and it was raining-ish. then managed to get to school on time where i tried to rush out a semblance of a presentation for Understanding Art, while i tried to be participative in the BMR group meeting regarding SPSS. and multi-tasking was never my thing.

U-art pretty much sucked, but at least i had Justin there (: always with his goofy smile, floppy hair and with his thumbs up, trying to encourage me. sucha sweetheart, thank goodness. he made the fridge marginally enjoyable. as opposed to malay dude in freakishly skinny jeans. not cool.

after that was secret mission with Lydia which was fun and nice(: then met up with Joanna for din dins which was nice too (: and THEN i met up with the Quekster for the best 3 hours of today (: we baked and talked and although it wasn't our usual high-octane chatterings, it was so good just to be around her again. goodness, i've missed that girl so much

oooh!!! on the way to queksie's place i met Aikey on the bus! (: was a very good 5 minutes for me (: so good to see you hunnie, and i miss you loads.. its so hard to remember what it was like seeing you 24/7 while we mugged and cried awaayyy hahahah love ya! let's meet up soon!

wasn't a nice ride home, fought with daddy a little about the whole curfew issue. it bothers me more than i care to mention, and although i've learned how to act like it doesn't matter so much, i've gotta be honest, it DOES matter. i'd like to come home by choice and not by force. i'm naturally a homebody so i would definitely come home often and early. i'd just like to do it as a personal decision and not by like following a command. but oh well nothing i can do about it but to obey, whether or not i smile doing it.

msn convo was not at all pleasant and i partly wished i didn't click on your name to talk to you. what a way to end the day. although, technically, the night is still young and i can make it end better on my own. it was such a huge blow to me, to know that you'd do that. no matter what reason/excuse you make for it, it hurts a whole lot to know that you turned away when i needed you. and believe me, i NEEDED you.

most of today was quite kanasai-y, but i thank God that there were bits that made up for the shittiness. He's such a balanced God haha

okay i'm gonna go make my night end well before i sleep now (: goodnight earthlings, may tomorrow be a better day.

bowling with jun xiang and tin tin next week! *cheers* like, finally.

Grace ♥ 12:36 p.d.

so there are hearts all over the world.. haha all my friends are falling in love, and gushing about their significant others and how sweet it is to be falling in love. and i do remember how it was like falling in love with you (: it was the best feeling in the world..

tad rocky today, but i've made up my mind to not just stick this through, but to make it work. and more than just making it work, i want this to totally rock. even if its more difficult now, even if it hurts a lil. was talking to Sam and we decided it's all worth it, no matter.

service today was killer awesome! the atmosphere was so charged up, and God forgive me for having such little faith. i should have expected greater for prayer, i should have prepared harder, but man was it good. Shaun was phenomenal, like he was on (God) drugs or something. phenomenal, the whole thing was.

lately i've been catching up with people.. got to meet old friends on facebook, which is mad awesome. people like Kelvin, Melissa, Zhi Xin, Julia, AnQi, Haniel (from KHS). it's madness la! (: so good to be in touch despite having been outta touch for like, 6 years. am talking to Kelvin now, which is a tad distracting since i'm supposed to be doing BMR

BMR's a pain in the ass, by the way. i'm stuck, and it's due 9am on monday. and i have a date on monday (:

i'm excited about tomorrow's service, and the whole dinner thing. i'm gonna run at the park before coming home, COS I SIGNED UP FOR STANDARD CHARTERED HALF MARATHON!! so i need to start training man.. am putting on weight too so that needs to go in reverse.

monday sounds like it's gonna be good fun (: i mean, we'll be doing ordinary things, but because it is all so ordinary, it's mind-blowing. like how married people do things. except we're not married.

i'm going to try to finish up this BMR nonsense and get some sleep, hopefully.. i can't afford to be tired cos then it makes me mega sensitive. and being sensitive has not been good recently. causes me to be more vulnerable than necessary. poo.

i know i'm really incoherent, again. but i had such a good time with my kids at dinner today (: having boys around really does help with the cell balance and all (: am looking forward to the next cell outing.. gotta start praying for a strong word man

okay off to work *flying kisses* (Ethan's just learnt how to blow 'em!)

P.S. I LOVE YOU TOO KRISTIE POK!!

Grace ♥ 1:43 p.d.

being stuck home for three days have not entirely been fun i figure. it would be more fun if i wasn't sick. haha i haven't been able to do much. wanted to continue on the GoP booklet, but my brains have not been working very well at all.

we started fighting again, which presented a horrible start to today. but we managed to make things up again, and we need to work together to make this work.. yeah its been a blow on my mental fairytale picture, but i guess we're learning how to take in the grime of one another and add it to the picture. it may not end up looking as perfect as the initial picture, but at least this picture is one where its genuine and maturing.

i've been watching TV and i saw Johnny Quest! i am in love with him again. haha so handsome

i spent 2 hours writing a letter to you, you'll probably get it tomorrow, and i hope that it means to you what it means to me (:

through the few weeks, i've been a little off course, meaning, just not in the ball game where school or church is concerned. i mean i've been doing my work, my QT, private worship and all, its just different without the rest of you (:

anyway, this is such a boring and incoherent post. i should give up blogging soon considering how boring my blog has become. and pointless too.

k bye

Grace ♥ 3:43 m.d.

Diving was insanely beautiful. i can totally see myself still diving at 60, if there's still stuff left to see. it was an amazing 4 days, ended on a feverish high, but i can deal with that.

talk is cheap. i love you comes easy.

daddy once said that being busy is dangerous. because busy in chinese is "mang" and blind in chinese is also "mang". when we are busy, we are blind. cool ah my dad

i can't wait for october when i go diving again! this time without ricky and chuan. maybe just andee and myself and other peeps. sounds tantalizing to me

i miss GoP ): 4 days away and it feels like a lifetime. how to study overseas like this?

free time on my hands now, back to designing the long-forsaken GoP booklet (:

Grace ♥ 11:42 p.d.