i've been places, and i've done things. some i'm proud of, some i wish could be undone. but all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His will (Romans 8:28) and i know He's takin' me places.
hello! ok. yes. i was in a state of semi-emoness yesterday. thank God its over. for some reason or another i've been thinking more lately. this is not good. not good at all. stop thinking gracie! bimbo, remember? and bimbos don't think cos they can't. my mind, lately, has been absolutely feral. how horrendous.
so anyway, thank you zhihao for being such a whacky IP smartass who listens well and has high EQ for people of the male species. and thank you for being one of the normal friendster people who add me not to hit on me. it makes me feel more valued as a female :) the weirdos we girls meet nowadays.. tsk. thank God for normalities, like you, and you happen to be a believer too! hoorah!
it's amazing how someone i've never talked to before can make me feel so normal and at ease. a little dash of sanity in my otherwise insane life. plus, he has absolutely charming english. tinted with sarcasm and dripping with sultry happiness (if that's even possible), it's nice to read stuff that speak of things so insignificant. in a world where drama reigns supreme, idyllic chatter and useless facts are highly welcomed :) hee.
i'm out of my emo state now. and i've decided to forbid myself to blog when i'm thinking too much cos when i do it always turns out too dramatic and i wouldn't like a drama mama so i don't think you all would either. (not that the whole world reads my blog, but hello baby i see you're reading too, you paramore nut.)
i've given up hope on DPA. i figure that if they still haven't called me yet, they probably won't. and anyway, i've got these two massive zits which are highly hideous so i can't go for any interview of any nature. i'm hiding at home cos i've got zits, i feel F#@, and my hair sucks :) but with Christ in the vessel i can smile at the storm. and anyway, i know and you know that i'm so smart and talented that i do not need some assistance programme to get me into the course of my choice. i shall just leave it up to God to get me into the course of His choice. for all i know, i'm not meant to be a mass commer? who knows what life has to hold. eh, sean? you once said life was unpredictable. it still is.
i know people are gonna kill me for saying this but. i feel. F%@. yeah, that three letter F-word is my newest profanity. i mean i've seriously put on weight and if hips don't lie, neither do weighing scales. these stupid numbers. everytime i step on that wretched thing (mine's yellow with a F%@ picture of winnie the pooh. mum bought it for me last year when i was huge to remind me that i do not want to end up looking like winnie.) so as i was saying, everytime i step on the wretched thing, i watch the needle got swish, dangle dangle, pause, rise, stop, and my mind immediately thinks, oh shit. AHHHH. and i can't even go run, under the doctor's instructions. (not as if i've been running often anyways)
being cooped at home has been insane. as much as i hate school in all its splendor, i'd rather be there. i mean, this family's physical closeness has led to nothing but more fights and brawls, more harsh words thrown in my direction and seemingly more insensitive actions made by me. if i'm such a lousy daughter, let me go stay with grammie already! most of my besties are tampines people anyway. katong is so ulu-ated. sigh. i'm that girl from katong, magical marine parade, so why won't he sing me this song, dum dee dah dee dup dee doo.. oh wait. that's because katong's so ulu (other than good food) and marine parade is anything but magical. and who in the right mind would sing for me anyway? i'm f#$ and i've got zits. i think the Z-word shall join the F-word in my vulgarities list. invectives. yup. that's what they are.
:) i realized this post ain't emo but it sure is whiny and complainy and stuff. ah well. indulge me. it's not often i'm at home for more than 10 hours. this is murderous. well yes, that's right. go ahead, turn and walk away. i'll stand here and watch your shadow, cos that's all that i can see. i'd hardly describe my feelings now as ebullient, but ahh, whoever is happy when they're taking their Os anyway?