i've been places, and i've done things. some i'm proud of, some i wish could be undone. but all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His will (Romans 8:28) and i know He's takin' me places.
Cold winds toyed with her brown tresses, causing her vision to blur. She watched her legs as they swung like a pendulum, to and fro, to and fro. Looking down from where she was, the people looked so small, so vulnerable, so.... squishable. Too small, in fact. It made her feel bigger, stronger, invincible, but it made her feel like a bully. But bullies didn't cry, did they? She willed herself to cry, but somehow it only made it all hurt even more. and the tears refused to come.
The cold winds kept blowing. The people kept being small. The nagging noise inside her head did not go away. All This. Was too much for her to take. Too heavy a burden. She wanted to put it down. But she couldn't.
She heard a voice humming a song which was familiar, yet strangely distant, as if it were a song from a forgotten dream in younger years. She strained to hear its soothing melody, it was a balm, an anctidote to her pain. "hmm hmm hmmm hmm hmm hmm hm..." The lyrics were lost in her. She knew this song, knew the words to it. Somehow, she could not remember. What was it? A song so mysteriously familiar, a voice so assuredly sensible.
"Jesus loves me, this i know. For the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me, yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me, for the Bible tells me so..."
She found the words! She remembered! The Voice caused her chest to buzz with a gentle vibration, its closeness seemed uncanny, impossible. That was when she realized, the Voice came from within her. Oh yes, now she knew. Now she really knew. She smiled, closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall. Pulling her feet in to herself, she rocked to the melody, to and fro, to and fro. Now she was the pendulum, but it swung to something less sinister, less painful. The tears fell easily now. Because now she knew He caught her tears. She didn't have to be strong, simply because-- He was.
:)
i'll whine, i'll cry, i'll look like a blubbering, over-sized, blobbous, weight gaining, stupidly brainless, exam-screw-upping, hideously bimbotic chendol machine. but through it all, i'll put on a garment of praise for a spirit of heaviness, and i'll sing of His goodness, because He deserves it. and because i know that through it all, i am loved, no matter what.
(this isn't denial. this is truth, to the T. literally.)