i've been places, and i've done things. some i'm proud of, some i wish could be undone. but all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His will (Romans 8:28) and i know He's takin' me places.
I: -am cranky -am in need of hugs -am a little retarded -am dying for Alone Time -am going to sleep.
but first, SEAN LEE TINGTONG, i love you, and thank you for being my strength today.. i'm sorry if my tears made you awkward, but really, all i needed was for you to sit with me in silence (which you did, so thank you so much).. as much as today sucked for me, i thoroughly enjoyed my intro-lesson to bleach on the blasted PSP and i also loved running around our "cribs" and aston's with you (although it left me feeling immensely fat). bestie, thank you!
and, J, you made my day too, without knowing it. thank you so much although it was something so seemingly simple, but as we've learned, the most innocuous of things can bring about the most detrimental (or benefiting, in this case) of effects. it was so nice hearing from you, no matter how brief, and it's been so many years but you do know you'll always hold a special special place in my heart. i miss you so so much and yeah, we'll hang out soon, after these wretched Os. you too, are always special and precious. we shall have lunch soon, i know of the bestest budget places where we can eat to our hearts content! haha. katong is my town. you can take me to yours, someday. hang around and i'll see you soon, for sure. hugs, J, hugs! life just wasn't the same when you weren't around (:
today was a crap day. it started off with a lousy physics paper (but its physics, so what's new? chuan would be so disappointed. haha.) and then i popped over to sean's to grab him and his stuff and to head over to my place and then we had mummum at Aston's and then we studied at church and the rest, as they say, is history. and i'll leave it at that. although, addy! thank you for the kinder bueno and the hug and for caring for me so much even though i only talk to you like once a week max. haha. love you! you're so irreplaceable.
and so, because today just made me wanna sit and rock myself right off the blaring balcony, i shall not talk about today at all. this week has been major mood swingy, i tell you. my emotions annoy me so majorly much. is there such thing as a hiatus from the matters of emotions? i wish. i now know why Aiken used the phrase "my mental morphine". pardon me if i say it but, i need an emotional morphine and i need some Prozac and it actually wouldn't hurt too much if someone stuck me with a happy pen.
I'm okay, I'm okay, every thing's okay-- it always is. I'm perfectly viable, so don't mind me, let me rant and it'll be fine. it's not exactly a state of plethora of joyous liberation or whatever, but life could've been worse, so i thank God my life is the way it is anyways. His grace is sufficient for me, there's no paucity of that, i know.
i just need to talk about something. anything. something. let's see.
THURSDAY(a.k.a tomorrow) : ok, it's a totally nothing-to-do day but i think i'm going to spend some Me-time. call me selfish or lazy or stupid or whatever, i just need to be alone for once. maybe dinner. SOMEONE CALL ME FOR DINNER PLEASE!
10-12pm tanning (if there's sun) 12-1pm whatever 1.30-3pm AMath (excuse me while i go regurgitate) tuition with mrs ng 3.30-5.30pm cuthair cuthair cuthair (I'm giving Colorbar one LAST try. mess up again and taste my wrath, honey.) from then on, i have no life so please ask me out. manuel, i know i was supposed to study with you, but look at me now and tell me if anything can ever get into my numbskull. i owe you big time too. dinner maybe?
ok, and so now my biggest plans for tomorrow is to go cut my hair. get ready for massive drama if they screw up my hair or show me the least bit of attitude. grace, is on the prowl.
and yes, goodnight loves. (NOTE: don't bother guessing who "J" is. you wouldn't know. ever.)