i hate secrets.
i wish i didn't have to keep them.
i hate failure.
i wish i didn't keep repeating what i've failed.
i hate this.
i wish my heart wasn't so soft.
i hate This.
i wish that you were here with me.
no but honestly, i hate having to keep secrets. but yet again, i cannot open my mouth because for some reason, word spread fast where i come from.
i just wish that i don't have to do this alone. but you're a year away so i can't say it. i wish you could deal with this together with me. i wish that you could be here to protect me like you used to. pfffffft. *sucks in breath and tears and Mr Tumms*
i don't like hiding things. SEE?! my defense mechanisms are up again, and here i am hiding hiding like a sneaky rat in a shittake mushroom hole. when i don't need to, don't have to, i wish i didn't know.
somethings are better left unsaid, you know?! so why did you tell me? why?! dammit. idiot. ignorance is bliss sometimes. times like NOW. cos i'm alone. in a way. and i find it hard to say no. bluidy.
on a different end of the spectrum of my day, my interview with starbucks went great :) the manager, Haffiz, was the nicest person ever and that bald barista was so nice and sweet, i say. the interview went on for almost an hour. hahaha we just talked and talked and talked. YUP! i do think i'm getting that job. even if it's crap pay and i have to travel super far, the people are awesome! he'll call me on tuesday so i hope i get hired.
if i do get hired, i'll need black shoes, black/khaki berms/jeans, and more black/white polo tees. SO TROUBLESOME HUH!? but neh mind. ish okay. lol. rofl. lmao. wth. asl.
hahahahha stupid internet chatroom talks.
okay i'm gone. no mood.
another interview with queks tomorrow. some contact lens solution thing. which i find damn funny cos queksie's eyes are so small i doubt she can even wear contacts. HAHAHAH. and the interview is at ubi, which is mega far. why allmy interviews so ulu one huh?! okay okay i go.bye.