some say that time heals all wounds. but how can this be? when time comes to a stand still at the point at which it hurts most? my theory is that the pain never goes away. we simply grow numb to the pain, and we forget it is even there. that is why they say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." but the thing is, the pain is always there. always. it remains for the rest of your life, hurting you in subtle ways, showing itself silently. very much, like a phantom limb.

day one of work... let's just say i've never felt so lost before. i'd even dare say i was intimidated. ME, Grace Ke, the seemingly undauntable friend-making machine, INTIMIDATED. pffft. i say, i was so hoping it would've gone better :( but ah well, i did ask for it. Haffiz might just murder me if i quit come end-april. i think they're expecting me to stay for good. WHO AM I KIDDING. they need me to stay for good. Haffiz even said that if i wasn't going to stay on, the he'll just stop my paycheck now, and i'm fired.

:( my job ain't perfect and the people aren't perfect, but i like working at SBV2. i've fretted over this job so much, and i've worked so hard in the backroom today. washing the cups and plates and cutleries, bussing, sweeping, labouring over the huge ass guide book and numerous files. i'm honestly not willing to give it up after less than than three months. but here's the catch: my parentals don't want me working while i'm studying.

WOW THAT'S A TOUGHIE NOW AIN'T IT?!

and he doesn't think i should work and study at the same time cos i might just burn out. which is true, but still. TP would bring about a new chapter of my life, but SBV2 is also a new chapter. i've never worked before in my life and here i am at my first job, i'm not loving it but not hating it, and i just might be forced to quit.

ah heck. i'm just going to cross that bridge when i get to it.

work today entailed training, bussing, a half an hour lunch break with which i didn't know what to do. (for the first time in my life, i ATE ALONE! cool what.) you guys would kill to see me at work. haha. me in the lovely green apron, dressed head to toe in black with my bob (which is now under control).

sigh. there's something weird with life now. i'm usually easily satiated, but for some reason, there's a gap somewhere, it's as if something's missing. i don't like this feeling.

oh anyway. i so need to lose weight. fifties is so not my region. SO NOT.

day one, week eight, year two thousand and eight, OVER. (almost, over. all that's left is YeYe's 77th birthday dinner, QT and a good sleep.)

tuesday--training at Vivo 10-3pm and release of posting
wednesday--training at Vivo 10-6pm (O.o oh dear me) and cell after that
thursday--meet shaun, training at CommonWealth 5-10pm
friday-- :) out with the loves, training at CommonWealth 6-10pm
saturday-- benny ho (which i haven't signed up for), combined service, ym post party
sunday-- service, lunch, slackdom, studio
END OF WEEK EIGHT

monday--training at CommonWealth 6-10pm
tuesday--training at some point of the day at CommonWealth
wednesday-- training at Vivo 10-2pm piano 5-6.30pm cell 7pm(?)
thursday--training at Vivo 10-5pm
friday--training at Vivo 10-4pm music meeting 7.30-11pm
saturday--music practice, leaders, service, YA(?)
sunday--service, lunch, slack, studio
END OF WEEK NINE

monday--training at Vivo 10-2pm
THE REST OF THE WEEK/YEAR REMAINS UNKNOWN.


training, training, training.... tiring. but still.

off to bathe and feel pretty for the first time today.

i guess it's true, we all want to feel beautiful.

Grace ♥ 5:25 m.d.