"ANNOYING AS HELL, JEALOUS AS HELL,
PATHETIC LIKE HELL, SO THIS IS HELL."
He did not necessarily agree with Verona MacBean's vision of hell. It could be much simpler than the theologians seemed to believe. You know you were damned when you went to sleep at night, and you kept seeing the love of your life just at the reach of an arm's length, but every time you went to touch her face, she vanished like a reflection in the pond.
--adapted from Jodi Picoult,
Mercy.
Jodi Picoult is a genius. I am going to buy and read every single one of her books, even if it kills me. Even though my birthday is 5 months away (hahahhaah) i will tell you now what to buy so you don't end up getting me useless things ok? :) you can get me pens, plain journals to write in and scribble my ideas for the novels, and you can get me Jodi Picoult's books :D although, check with me which titles i have first ok?
wah i damn thick-skinned.
but really, i get jealous at the most pathetic things. i disgust myself. it makes me wonder how selfish can i really be? how much would i go for one i claim to love? how much would i bend in order to prevent someone else from breaking? and how much will i bend another, to make sure i myself won't break?
the saying that "if you really love somebody, you'd let him/her go." is it true? would i really? would you really? i mean, think about it. you love this person. but because you love him, you'd let him go? if love is so sad, then why does everyone fall in love?
i'm being a total hussy right now. so i shall not say anything to reveal what i'm thinking. haha i scorn my thoughts.
i was out with Char today :) cut hair, drop by at aikey's, dinner, mlm.... :) i love you char!
alex's ex girlfriend thought i was his new girlfriend, so she checked up on me on friendster (seeing that you can't view people's profiles on facebook) and so i dropped her a message. hahah what a weird thing i did right? well i just told her that alex and i are not together, and i told her to cheer up and not let him break her heart too much. i don't know la. i just felt the need to clear my name, i don't like being accused of what's not true.
but after i told her not to let him break her heart too much, i realized i was saying something i know that even i cannot do. how do you not let a person break your heart too much?
a scary thing, love is. loving is quite like giving someone the power and ability to protect your heart completely, or to destroy it utterly. i'm quite well-protected, thank God.
aye well, i'm off to sleep :) i am tired and Jodi Picoult has gotten my head spinning on philosophies. and i've been thinking about my to-do list since MLM. very difficult to categorize things into their respective quadrants. AND Jeremiah asked me why my status was "it's complicated" on facebook. HAHAHHAHA how to explain that?
brain's are fried. i'm off! :D