it's amazing how the life of one person i barely knew, can affect me so much.

it seems like the only time i am happy is at school or at work. which is really beyond me, i don't understand.

everything is so morbid, it's just not apt for me to portray joy in front of the church friends. to think about going out with them or what we're gonna do during the week. it doesn't make sense to think about services when a life is hanging on a thread. it doesn't seem fair for me to think about the future, when someone else may never have a tomorrow again.



Dear Yuan Xiang,

i do not know you well at all, but it scares me that someone i came into contact with is in a state as you are now.. all i can do is pray and have faith that you will be healed. your life affects so many around you, so please pull through this. perhaps i can get to know you better if you get better! i'd probably not go down to visit you, because it would seem so hypocritical, and i wouldn't know what to say. i'd probably not hold your hand and stay by your bedside the whole time, but i think you should know, that i, a relative stranger, cares. we prayed for you today, my family. the whole time my parents were probably thinking, "thank God it wasn't Grace". but sometimes, i wish it were me instead. i think about you all the time, pretty stranger, and i pray that you'll be alright, oh please be alright.

sometimes, i think about the woman who ran you down too. i wonder if she's guilt-stricken, like i am so many times. i wonder if her body will send negative hormones into her baby, causing the unborn child to be different than he would have been. i think about how this could affect her, her baby, her family. i wonder if she'll go to bed and see your face, and be unable to fall asleep. for her sake as well, please get well, Yuan Xiang, then you can tell her you forgive her, you can tell her Jesus loves her. you can tell her it's okay, because you made it through.

or maybe i don't visit you, because i am afraid of what i'll see. i'm too chicken to face up to reality, and i don't want to have this serene picture of you in my mind, shattered by what is the truth. all i see now, is you, with your eyes closed, lying on the hospital bed, your head denting the pillow. your hair is held in a miniature crown on the top of your head, and the rest of your long tresses are gathered to the right, and your hair rests gently over your shoulder, like a flowing waterfall. your hands are clasped over your abdomen, and you are simply resting, only tired and taking a break. your face glows as you rest, and you are happy.

bizarre, eh? but that's how i remember you, that's how i still see you. and i don't want this to be taken away, this thought, this perfection. please be okay, please be okay. a million hearts break for you, so please be okay.

so, Yuan Xiang, i'll be praying for you, we all will. i may not see you anytime soon, but i do think about you, all the time.

love, Grace


so anyway, i miss my BFF.
ALOT.

i ran into a million people in school today :) many screams and hugs and running into open arms. kinda like the prodigal son when he headed home to his father. oh and anyway, luan is friggin' gorgeous now!

i feel guilty that i had a good day.
does it even make sense, i wonder?

i had a fantabulous time with the classmates :)
but now if anyone asked me who they were, i'd say they were my friends
like, "oh he's a friend"..........."i met him in school, same class la"

i had a happy bus ride to piano with Josh :)
you are super sweet love, you praise me too much
i love you alot, you made my day a million times over
and you, you, my friend, are one of a kind
i'd never find someone like you, and i'm glad i've got you
and i'm glad you care about me too
and i'm glad we're platonic as hell and i'm glad you've got Laura
you have an ability to make people around you feel so special
and you're always super happy, even when you're sick
and you'd go out of your way for me, for your friends
and you're not ashamed to show your love
you rock jocks, seriously
love you joshiewoshie!!

omg. so sweet grace! HAHHAHA
i didn't forget you, Aroo, i love you too.

my friends are awesome.

zam, erny, sam, josh and myself quickly melted into a group together, the moment winniet said we chose our own groups, it was an instant thing. haha like instant noodles. (i am officially calling haqiem, "qiem chi" noodles although he doesn't know what the hell they are)

so, i'm gonna head off to SBJJ with the friends tomorrow :) then i'll head down to 4E1's reunion chalet, if they even tell me what's happening. haha if they don't, i'll go to Sinema i guess. or stay home. or go out with school friends. or rent DVDs and stay home. dunno la. too lazy to think, too painful to think. or i may just stay at SBJJ or head out with qiem?

i didn't see my eye candy today :((( which is the least of the world's worries, really. but haha it's a moot point, but i wanna mention it. so there.

okay, kim's about to say i'm lengthy, so i'm just gonna quit jabbering here.

i need to buy 5 files for the various subjects, and a notebook specifically to take down assignments or whatever.

i have to do research for the GDF assignment, which is a logo for the Lion's befrienders dunno what. and i have to do my first entry for the reflective journal thing for CMM. i figure that if i do one a week, by every wednesday, i'll make good time for RJ1. sounds like fun. HAH. kinda. in a self-inflicted pain, sadistic, psychopathic way.

okay bye.

my parents are leaving in....... 8 hours. YESSAH!

Grace ♥ 11:08 m.d.