"MOTHER-IN-LAW"
in the latest phase of life, i find myself lost in this Bermuda Triangle.
work, school, church... and suddenly, i disappear.
i need to find the reason i'm alive, the reason i do what i do.
before the Os, i had plans, i knew what i wanted, where i was headed. CMM, CMM, CMM. now, now that i've got it, then what?
it's 2.35AM
i've got a test in 7 hours and 25 minutes.
i am painting my nails and then removing the polish.
as if taking of coats of paint can shed light on who i am.
each layer exposing nothing but what has been before.
so then i paint another coat, and then take it off.
now my hands are stained red, i ran out off cotton.
but You said, You said, You'd wash me white as snow.
so here i am, in the shower, wash me already, wash me.
i want to love You like never before
i want to be crazy hot for You
i want to mother Your children
i want to be the one who makes the difference for You
You, Lord. You and You alone.
who needs nail polish when You gave me my nails?
my nails are still stained red.
but inside, i am okay.
guess what? i'm still going for my manicure.
i'm gonna:
-do my brows
-lose weight
-get a french manicure
-shop??
-TAN
-fall in love with God again
-eat cookies and be happy
-love you cos i do.
am i insecure?
well, no.
i am, of course, worried, jealous, bitchy, whatever.
but i do what i do, just because.
:)