"TEETH MARKER"
at some point in life, you realize that you can cause more hurt than you thought was humanly possible. you also realize that silence is louder than you think, and that all your fairytale romances are nothing but a bucket of lies. you figure out that as you grow older, many other things come into conflict besides just who takes which toy and who gets to swing more. suddenly, our "toys" become so much more valuable, our time on the "swing" dictates our destination.
today reality bit me. hard.
i can't say that it entirely turned out bad. sure, it hurt. sure, it was scary. but hey, i'm still here. you tell me we'll work things out, stick it through together... and only because it comes from you, i believe you. if it was anyone else i'd think thrice.
my make up remover dripped on the dining table and ate up the varnish, so now there are spots of mat on the glossed over veneer. i wonder what this chemical does to my skin.
i'm having a break out and a humongous spot in the middle of my brows and there is a dance performance tomorrow. my make up tomorrow is going to be a mile thick.
F.O.B is blasting in my ears, i am running through the steps over and over again in my head, and i am praying that i dance and don't just move to the choreo. somehow, my costume's not put together, the dance feels like motions, and i am hardly excited or hmm jumpy about it. it's scary too.
HoG has phenomenally blown me away with not just skill, but talent, passion, and unreserved dedication. it makes me question how much i'm giving, how much i'm loving, and how much that is all worth.
today is one of those days where you learn a million lessons per minute. so many they consume you and you are unable to think straight, unable to remember all that happens.
my cell thing didn't turn out according to my plans. once again, i have neglected to hear what God wants, and have acted on my own accord. epic failz. i really need to get tighter with God. i'm slowing on my choreo and my stamina sucks.
the jaw is still aching and my heart fears that it may be a wisdom tooth. oh Lord, save my mouth. i do not like needles nor any sharp instrument that might proceed to cut my gums to extract my teeth. i like my teeth.
rashes are back and all ): i think it's the insane weather and lack of proper sleep. some times i wonder why i really don't listen. maybe it's rebellion. maybe, the only time i get to myself is at these weird ungodly hours. ah, but i know i need the rest tonight.
prata talks today exposed me to the other boys and showed me a little bit of what they are like inside.
at some point in life, you realize that God heals wounds unspoken. you also realize that in the silence, you can hear His voice better, and that all your fairytale romances fall apart as He royally romances you beyond the point of imagination. you figure out that as you grow older, many other things come into conflict besides just who takes which toy and who gets to swing more. suddenly, our "toys" are of eternal value, and our time on the "swing" determines just what He'll say when He sees us. "Well done, My good and faithful servant" ?